A Vampire's Passion
by thehotmageaeris
Summary: Now 2 years after the events of FF7, Yuffie's now traveling around the world. She ends up stopping by Vincent but soon they are intwined in destiny. Yuffentine here folks. REVIEW NOW! Please.
1. Give me some sugar!

Author's notes: I'm dedicating this story to my love, the Muffin Goddess, who oh so loves the dark and mysterious one known as Vinny-poo, er, I mean, Vincent. Enjoy.  
  
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A Vampire's Passion  
  
Chapter One  
  
Trot, trot, trot...  
  
"Wheeze! Huff! Pant! Whew! These mountains sure do take it out of ya!" A young girl, apparently a young ninjatsu in training, stooped at the foot of the Nibel Mountain range, panting for air. She hefted her traveling bag on the dirt and sat on a well-sized rock for a rest, and to inspect the materia she managed to swindle off a creep that was flirting with her earlier. She smiled in satisfaction to see that they weren't all bad. A few rounds with them and they'd be mastered without a sweat. "Well, I should hurry if I want to make it there before nightfall. Who knows what comes out then." She mumbled, shivering in the cold air while standing up again and gathering her belongings.  
  
The thief jogged the rest of the way down the narrow ledges, careful not to slip. She rounded the beginning mountain path curve and could see the lights of the small town up ahead. It was quite a site to see it during the twilight hours; streaks of purple, blue, pink, and gold ran across the horizon where the sun began to slip under. She stood, taking in the view for several moments until continued on across a valley leading into the town.  
  
"Finally! Here I am. I hope they're home..." The youthful ninja muttered, brushing dirt from her shorts and tank top to look presentable. Slowly she stepped up the front stairs to a large Victorian house with the matching address as she had remembered. The teenager tentatively reached up and gave a sharp rap at the front door. Several minutes passed and she could here the soft pounding of feet coming to the door. The door opened to reveal a spiky blonde-haired man in his nightwear, seemingly ready for bed. The man had a surprised look spread across his face. The ninja's mouth grew into a large grin. "Hello Cloud!"  
  
"Yuffie?! What are you doing here?" Cloud asked in bewilderment.  
  
"Heh! I thought I stop by and say hi. I'm sorta just travelling. Well, actually, my dad didn't want me loitering around Wutai for the rest of my days. So, I brought you guys some gifts for your wedding!" Yuffie explained, embarrassed. A woman with dark coal black hair and brownish-red eyes had come up from behind Cloud.  
  
"Who is it, honey- OH! Yuffie! What a surprise!" The woman said, seeing Yuffie over Cloud's broad shoulders. "What brings you all the way here?"  
  
"Like I said to Cloud, I came to give you guys some presents." The friendly girl said, letting a few giggles out. She heaved her bag off her back and onto the cement before opening it to rummage through it. She pulled out two well-sized wrapped boxes and handed it through the door to the engaged couple.  
  
"But Yuffie, our wedding's not for two months!" Tifa laughed, excepting her gift.  
  
"Oh! Well, that's not what I heard... Oh, well. You guys can open 'em whenever you want!" Yuffie told them, she started to shiver in the cold. Tifa noticed this and smiled.  
  
"You're quite generous, Yuffie. Did you have a place to stay tonight? It's getting late." Tifa said her, seeing the last of the sun go down.  
  
"Well, I was ganna stay at the inn." Yuffie replied. Tifa shooed her inside and closed the door.  
  
"Nonsense, they charge way too much. Cloud, would you mind if she stayed?" Tifa asked her fiancée.  
  
"No, not at all. You can use the couch in the living room." Cloud said. "I'll go get some blankets."  
  
"Thanks you guys, I'd think you'd push me out like most people do." Yuffie stated, a bit ashamed.  
  
"Just as long as you behave, you're welcome here anytime." Cloud said in a friendly tone, though she knew he was dead serious.  
  
They gave her a bit of dinner and she thanked them again and went to bed on the sofa. It was two years after she had joined Clouds group, or Avalanche, as they liked to call it, and helped defeat Sephiroth. She had turned eighteen just three months ago and her father wanted her to explore like she used to. She wasn't allowed back until she had seen everything, as her father had put it. Soon, the haggard Yuffie was fast asleep.  
  
Tifa and Cloud came downstairs, expecting to see Yuffie sprawled out upon the couch yet didn't. In the kitchen came hums of a cheery song. The betrothed couple went to spy on the young girl, to see if she wasn't stealing anything. However, to their amazement, she was washing dishes in the sink.  
  
"Uh, Good morning, Yuffie. Why are you doing the dishes, if I might ask?" Tifa startled Yuffie, causing her to almost drop the plate she was drying. Had it not been for her ultra super ninja precision, it would have shattered upon the stone flooring.  
  
"WHA! You scared me!" Yuffie huffed, recovering herself. "I was just repaying you for lettin' me stay for the night. They looked like they needed to be cleaned so I cleaned them."  
  
"Thanks-" Cloud began but Tifa elbowed him in the ribs and shot a glare.  
  
"I thought I told you to clean up after dinner last night! Thank you anyway, Yuffie, but you didn't have to." Tifa said with a warm smile. Cloud pouted in the background silently.  
  
"Sure I did! I'll leave as soon as I can, too, if you want." Yuffie said finishing up the last of the plates. "I'm just running around, visiting friends, really."  
  
"Well, since you are, I'm sure you could stay and give a visit to Mister Goth at the end of town." Cloud declared. Yuffie stared at him in confusion. "You know, Vincent. Coffin man. He lives down in the Shinra mansion still."  
  
"Ah! Really?! He's here?! Well, there, but still... Nifty, I think I'll go bug him now. Thanks!" Yuffie laughed impishly. She always had a thing for bugging him and Cid. Tifa let out a laugh as she began to make pancakes.  
  
"You want some breakfast?" She asked the teen.  
  
"No thanks, I had some cereal. So I'll leave you two love birds together, k?" Yuffie said with a grin. 'I'm off to see Vinny. This should be good!'  
  
After skipping out of Tifa's house, she found her way to the gate that led to the ominous Shinra mansion. She pushed through the barred gateway and moved through the untreated yard. Yuffie stood in front of the gate, staring up at oak doors. After a nervous sigh, she gave a push to the door. Once it was ajar, she stepped into the defiled old mansion, sneezing from all the dust. The most difficult task in this visit wasn't avoiding the goulish monsters, but remembering which room had the secret passage and which stone operated the sliding door. An hour later, after finally hitting the switch that led deep down into the bowls of the chateau, Yuffie was making her way down to the bottom of the spiraling staircase. Skulls and bones littered the dirt floor of the cavern that reeked with a dank stench. She timidly skipped over them and down the corridor. She came to a door to her left and one before her.  
  
"If I remember right... This one is the one I want to go into." She said to herself, remembering the left passage was where the man she seeked slept. The girl gingerly turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. It was as dim as the hall she stood in and with more bones, there were coffins. Even more nervous than before, Yuffie gradually made her way to the middle of the room. Many of the coffins were unoccupied and the ones that weren't had skeletons lying within them. There was one, however, that possessed a lid affixed to it. It was positioned in the far back of the room. Yuffie crept up to it, glancing about apprehensively for anything threatening. Once she stood right before it, the now shaking girl cautiously reached up with one hand and...  
  
BAM BAM BAM!!!!!  
  
Whatever was within the coffin was certainly shaken up. Yuffie let out a brisk shriek as she watched the coffin lid fly off and a tall dark figure pull itself up with a gun held to her face. It appeared to be a man in black and red attire, save for his left arm which was in a golden claw-like thing. He was quite mysterious and uncanny looking to Yuffie and sent shivers down her back.  
  
"Uh, heh! Hello there, Vinny." Yuffie said timidly, staring at the gun in her face. Vincent recognized the teen and lowered his weapon.  
  
"Yuffie. What are you doing down here?!" Vincent demanded in an irate tone.  
  
"Er, um, well I just came to say hi." Yuffie said with a nervous laugh. Vincent's face scowled at the ninja, causing her more nervousness. "Eheheheh, I guess you were sleeping weren't you."  
  
"Yes. Yes I was. But you came and pounded on my coffin to say 'hi'. Well, hello to you too, Yuffie. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to my atonement." The raven-haired man told her before lying down and shutting the lid back onto his coffin. Yuffie stared at the closed coffin. Reluctantly, she left after a few minutes and lagged towards the stairs. She stopped short of the staircase and turned back with a rigid look.  
  
"Ya know! It makes me so mad that he just sleeps all the time in that stupid box! He really should get out!" Yuffie told herself. She came to a conclusion. She was going to, somehow and someway, get him out of his torment. Without any other thoughts, Yuffie marched back into the room and up to his coffin with a determined look in her eyes. She raised her fist and...  
  
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!  
  
The coffin lid flew off again and Vincent sat up with a furious glare. Yuffie gulped in fear. She didn't want to piss of some one that can change into different forms of demons and hack you up in seconds. She only waved at the dark man and he only glared at her childish innocents.  
  
"What is it now, child?" He implored forcefully in a deep voice.  
  
"Uh, wellllllll..." Yuffie said, apprehensive again under his glare.  
  
"SPEAK!" He barked, she cringed at his irritatedness.  
  
"Well, I... wantedtoknowifIcouldborrowacupofsugar!" Yuffie rambled quickly. It was all that Yuffie could think of saying under his pressure. He stared at her; she smiled innocently, trying to hide her tension.  
  
"Hmph! I believe there may be some in the kitchen." Vincent said, lying back down.  
  
"Uh, where's the kitchen?" Yuffie asked before he could close the coffin. He let out a disgruntled sigh and sat back up.  
  
"It's upstairs."  
  
"Where upstairs?"  
  
"It's on the bottom floor those stairs."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"In the left East Wing"  
  
"Where's east?"  
  
"That way." Vincent pointed to his left.  
  
"What's the East Wing?"  
  
"It's where the kitchen is!"  
  
"So where is it again?"  
  
"ARGH!!!!!!!!" Vincent threw up his hands and howled in fury.  
  
'Uh, crap! HE'S TURNING INTO CHAOS!!!!!!!!!!' Yuffie thought in sheer fear as she watched him leap out of his coffin. Yet, he only grabbed her arm and roughly dragged her out of the room and down the hall. When they got back into the bedroom from the secret staircase, he pulled her down the grand staircase and into the common room of the mansion. He then led her into the East Wing and turned several times and brought her into the kitchen.  
  
"Now take your damn sugar and leave! Please!" He snarled at her. He turned on his heal and went back towards the door.  
  
'Well, I got him out of the box but now he's going back to it! What can I do to stop him?!' Yuffie thought hastily before, "Wait! Uh, do you know where the sugar's at?"  
  
The sullen man stopped and turned back to the girl while rubbing his new headache in his temples. He opened up a rotting cupboard and pulled out a container and motioned to the ninja to take it. She opened the lid only to find an ancient substance that was once sugar.  
  
"Er, It doesn't look like it's edible any longer." Yuffie said, pointing at the crusty mess. Vincent groaned and smacked his forehead with his claw, almost accidentally puncturing his forehead with it.  
  
"Fine, I don't have any sugar so I guess you can leave now." Vincent said.  
  
"But I need sugar!" Yuffie whined.  
  
"Go and buy some sugar!" Vincent told her.  
  
"Where do I buy sugar?" Yuffie asked him, now tugging on his arm.  
  
"At the store!" Vincent yelled at her.  
  
"Show me where the store is, Vinny!" She giggled and pulled him into the entranceway of the mansion.  
  
"Fine! If you promise to not plague me any longer after this." He told her. She jumped in joy and let out happy giggles. Vincent rolled his eyes and walked with her to the front door.  
  
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Author: HO! I am through with that chapter, on to the next one! Haha! I myself like Yuffie and Vinny fics; they are soooooooo cute together! Besides, I need a break from Aer/Seph fics so this is a good fic for me to work on! Next one will be good but I need five reviews! Common! Mommy needs a new review! WHEEEEEEEE! I'M SUGAR HIGH!!!!!!!! 'Tis why I right on sugar! Hahah! What?! Goodbye people! 


	2. And maybe a pie!

Chapter 2 

It had been almost half a year since Vincent had stepped into the gleaming sunlight. He flinched when he felt the burning rays upon his face. His eyes were in pain as he tried to squint out into the living world. He hated the light; it reminded him of what he was. Yuffie, however, seemed blissful of his company and held onto his hand like a child to its mother. It seemed to Vincent that she most definitely knew the location of the store since he was walking to slow for her taste and she literally dragged him to it. Once they arrived, Yuffie smiled in the slyest way, almost apparent of her self-satisfaction.

"There, we are at the store, now go buy some sugar." Vincent said, turning to leave.

"Oh! I forgot! I don't have any money!" Yuffie told him. Vincent hung his head fatigued from her already; he spun back around and went in with the troubling teen.

When they came in, everyone that noticed them began to stare at the odd couple. Yuffie smiled gleefully while she hugged his good arm as if they were dating. Vincent was so humiliated he just tried to ignore everything in all while they walked up to the cooking condiment isle. Vincent and Yuffie found the sugar and picked it up with his claw. People in the same isle automatically noticed the claw and began to nervously walk to a different part of the store. Vincent and Yuffie then came up to the front desk clerk to purchase the sugar. The cashier stared at both of them while Vincent pulled out his wallet. Yuffie smiled even wider at the young man behind the counter. The man continued to stare when Vincent handed him the exact amount for the item. It began to annoy Vincent when the sales person didn't take the money.

"Well!" Vincent growled at the clerk. The cashier jumped and took the money as he rang up the item.

"Uh, tha-thank you, sir! Co-come again." He said putting the sugar in a paper bag. Vincent walked out of the store without a word as Yuffie took the sugar.

"Thank you, Vinny! Now, isn't it nice to be outside that cramped coffin?" Yuffie asked once they got outside. She inhaled deeply. "I mean, taking in the fresh air and all. And the nice sunshine! Oh it's lovely out, wouldn't you agree?"

"No." the cloaked man replied bluntly.

"Oh come on! Gawd! How in the hell can you just sit down there and rot!" Yuffie asked fanatically as they walked back to the Shinra mansion.

"I don't like the world. The world doesn't like me." Vincent answered.

"Well it's not if you go and have that kinda attitude about it!" Yuffie exclaimed. "Besides, I like you. Even if you are really dark and creepy and turn into monsters and have a claw arm thingy and sleep in a box and-"

"Thank you." Vincent interrupted sarcastically before she got too carried away. They reached the door to the Shinra mansion and he turned to her for the final time. "Now, good bye. Enjoy your sugar, I'll be returning to my so-called 'box'. I'd appreciate it if you don't come down and beat on it any more."

"Fine………" Yuffie sighed with loathing and watched him disappear into the house, closing the large doors behind him. Yuffie was left staring at the door and holding a five-pound bag of sugar. The ninja looked down at it with skeptical face wondering, 'Now just what am I ganna do with all this sugar?'

Several minutes later………

"AHAH! I'll make Vinny a pie! He won't be able to resist my delicious pie of goodness! Oh I'm so devious!" Yuffie shouted aloud in glee, punching the air with her free hand as she walked back to Tifa and Cloud's house.

"Hey Tifa, I think Yuffie's back." Cloud said to his fiancé. Tifa looked out the window and watched Yuffie marched up their stairs with her package in hand. She opened the door and came into the kitchen to dump the bag on the counter. "Hey Yuffie, what do have there?"

"Hi ya guys! It's sugar. Would you mind if I made a pie?" Yuffie inquired not knowing the answer. "It's ganna be for Vincent, I got him to get out of that old mansion place and buy me sugar. It was the only thing I could think of doing to budge him from that casket! Boy was he stubborn!"

The couple were now staring open-mouthed at the girl. "You actually got him out of that thing, and even out of the house!" Tifa asked in disbelief.

"Yeeeeeep. So now I wanna make him a pie! Just to thank him for the sugar. I don't really need the sugar though, so I guess it's yours." Yuffie told them.

"Of course you can! I'm surprised that you actually got him out into public, I haven't seen him for almost a year. No one knows what he does in that place besides sleep." Tifa informed the teen. "But of course you can use the kitchen, there are apples in the fridge if you were looking to make an apple pie. We were running low on sugar anyways so thanks."

"Thank you both! I'll clean up the mess too!" Yuffie giggled, bowing in thanks to both of them before getting to work on the pie.

An hour later………

"Hmmmmmmm" Tifa was examining Yuffie's baked delicacy. "It looks and smells real good, Yuffie. I bet Vincent would even like it."

"Well you helped, so thank you." Yuffie said, cleaning up her mess. When she finished. Tifa wished her luck as Yuffie wrapped up the pie in some fabric to keep it warm. Yuffie then made her way back into the old mansion where Vincent tarried. Once again, Yuffie was in the dank old room littered with the open caskets, save for Vincent's. She walked up to it and held the pie in her hands while a grin crept unto her lips again. "Oh, Vinnnnyyyyy! It's me! Yuffie!"

"For the love of the gods………" was all she could hear, muffled by the heavy lid of his coffin. It unwillingly opened and Vincent sat up. "What is it now, child?"

"Well, I brought you a surprise!" Yuffie laughed

"What?" He asked impatiently.

"I'll give it to you if you come upstairs with me." Yuffie told him.

"…………" Vincent only glowered at the girl.

"Pleaseeeeeee!" Yuffie begged with puppy dog eyes. He slowly got out of it and walked up to her. She never really noticed how much taller he was compared to her. Smiling, she led the way out of the basement caverns and back into the room where the secret passage led. "Okay! Now that we don't have to smell dead bodies and dirt, I want you to have this!" Yuffie untied the cloth from the pie and held it out to him.

"What is it?" Vincent asked, staring at it with no emotion in his face. Yuffie gaped at his remark and frowned.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A PIE IS!" Yuffie demanded in sheer disbelief. "I can't believe you don't know what it is! You deffinately need to get out more. Okay, try it."

Yuffie sat on the dusty bed and pulled out the plates and forks she also packed with the pie. She served him a big piece and gave it to him. The dark man stared at it and gingerly took a bite and chewed. Yuffie leaned towards him in wait for his analysis.

"It tastes okay." The man said bluntly, giving her the rest of the uneaten piece.

"You don't like it!" Yuffie asked looking at the pieces of warm pie with tears brimming on her eyes. Vincent watched her break out in tears, not knowing what to do. "I worked so hard on it too!"

"Errr." Vincent felt a bit remorseful for his actions. He looked back at the rest of his pie. He picked up the piece he gave to her and began to eat the rest. Yuffie stopped crying and watched him finish it. Once he swallowed the last bite, she was grinning again. "It was good."

"YAY!" Yuffie threw up her arms in success and did a mini victory dance before Vincent. "Would you like more?"

"Um, not re-" He stopped, seeing oncoming tears in her eyes. Her sighed and held up his plate. "Sure."

"Okey-dokey!" Yuffie chimed and served him some more. She too helped herself to apiece and began to shovel it into her face. They both sat and finished the whole pie.

Author Notes: WHEW! I HAVE FINALLY UPDATED! YAY! Expect more soon…


	3. Vampires can be jerks sometimes

Chapter 3

Yuffie was hyperly skipping around the old Shinra mansion. She was hyper due to the pie intake. Vincent was feeling a bit too sick to crawl back down into the basement because he ate about half the pie. He couldn't stand either so he only sat on the dusty bed staring at an affixed item in the room before him. He began to think about Lucrecia's solemn face before long, cursing himself as he always did. He would never be able to forgive himself for as long as he was alive. The former Turk felt pitiful when he recalled being unable to save her from the path she had chosen with Hojo. With a sigh, Vincent closed his eyes, evoking the few precious memories he could recall of Lucrecia's beautiful smile. Unconscientiously, he began to mutter of his former lover. "Lucrecia……… Beautiful, beautiful Lucrecia………"

"Wow, I bet she was really hot if you're still obsessed with that chick. She was Sephiroth's real mom, right? Woah, how old does that make you!"

The voice of the eighteen-year-old ninja shook him from his thoughts. He was somewhat shocked to find her smirking in front of him when he opened his eyes. He had not heard her sneak in. With a glare, he snapped at her promptly. "You know nothing! It is none of your concern!"

"Gosh! You don't have to bite my head off, I was just sayin'--" Yuffie raised her hands innocently. The raven-haired man angrily cut her off.

"Yes, and you have said enough! I'd like you to leave, now!" Vincent stood up from the bed and turned back to the door to the basement. His words dripped with inhospitality. "Do NOT bother me from my atoning anymore!"

Yuffie was stunned by Vincent's cold rejection and stood there watching him descend the spiraling stairs. She felt wounded inside, though it quickly turned to offended anger.

"Oh, no you don't!" She said practically to herself. Without thinking, she leaped down the stairwell, passing Vincent and plummeting towards the ground below. However, before hitting the ground, she grabbed hold of the rotting plywood that supported the stairs' structure and flipped herself up onto the steps below the crimson-garbed recluse. Steaming with fury, the Wutain ninja marched up the stairs to the surprised Vincent and stuck an accusing finger in his gut. "Hey! Now, I came to visit you and I gave you a pie and I got you out of that stinkin' box and I don't even get a 'thanks!' Okay, I know you hate the world; we all do sometimes, but geez! You take it to a whole new level! IT'S UNHEALTHY! I mean, what's the point of living for the future if you're ganna dwell on the stupid mistakes of the past! GAWD! If you have nothing to live for, kill yourself or do something!" Yuffie ended her shouting rant with several gasps for air. She glanced up at Vincent cautiously, yet curiously.

He stood there, staring at her.

She stared back.

He blinked.

She raised her eyebrow. "Well… Say somethin'!"

He looked down at her slender figure, reaching for his Death Penalty holstered at his side and grabbing it with his gloved non-metallic hand. Yuffie jumped when she saw him draw it out before her, gulping nervously.

'Oh gosh! I really pushed him over the limit this time!' Yuffie thought as she shut her eyes, expecting a loud blast. It never came and after a few seconds, Yuffie tentatively squinted up at the man before her. He was holding his gun out for her to take.

"Here. Shoot me then. Put me out of my misery then." Emotionless he thrusted the powerful gun into her small shaking hands. "Come, Yuffie, kill me."

The last two words sent multiple shivers down her spine as his blood red eyes pierced hers. She was now completely shaking and oblivious of what to do. "I-I…….. N-no!"

"Yuffie, a gun is quite easy to use." Vincent's monotone voice made her cringe. He grabbed the barrel of his gun with his clawed hand and positioned it above his heart, holding it there. "Now, all you need to do is pull the trigger."

Her mind raced and her shaking only worsened. Yuffie's eyes began to tear as she shook her head. "Vincent, quit it."

"What is wrong? Just shoot." He pressured calmly as if nothing was happening. She continued to shake her head. "End my pain, let me return to Lucrecia. Shoot me."

"N-No! I didn't mean it! I—" Yuffie stammered but Vincent's fierce look intensified.

"Do it! Shoot!"

"Vin—"

"SHOOT ME!" Vincent snarled at her, snapping her into tears.

"NO!" Yuffie screamed back as she chucked the gun down the stairs behind her. She turned back to the glaring Vincent, tears now streaming down her cheeks "You jerk! Quit it! I was trying to help but all you do is push away everyone! You're nothing but a jerk! Go ahead and rot in that stupid box of yours! I don't care anymore!"

She ran up the stairs sobbing past Vincent, slamming the door shut behind her. He felt a tinge of guilt come into his being before he continued down the stairs to his now unclean Death Penalty lying in the dirt. His façade turned into an expression of discontent as he looked at his weapon. "Aww, I just cleaned you………"He began to clean his beloved gun as he walked back to his death filled sleeping room, going over the last few moments in his mind while climbing in to sleep. He shut the lid once more, dwelling in nothing but thoughts.

Being alone for many years has caused him to loath everything. Maybe it was true what she said. Maybe he was a jerk. For several hours, Vincent thought about each word that came from the young girl's mouth, only feeling guiltier about his actions. It was then he came to observe something strange occurring. He was thinking guilty for someone else besides Lucrecia. He never really cared what others thought of him while in Avalanche or even before his transformation given to him by the now deceased Hojo. But for some reason, he now wanted to apologize to Yuffie. This is what boggled his mind. Repeatedly, he told himself that he was nothing and that Yuffie was better off not staying around someone like himself. But still, he continued to feel guilt, guilt that would not let him be, especially since he knew he could go and apologize.

Vincent pushed the lid of and sat up in his coffin, staring at the door with wide eyes. "I can't sleep! Why!"

Yet he knew the answer, and somehow it pulled him out of his coffin and through the door. Pulling him towards Yuffie. It was about the time he reached the front door of the mansion when he noticed something else. "Damn, she even took my materia!" And with that, he marched out the front door, determined to apologize and get back his materia.

Author Notes: Even though the movie hasn't even come out yet (but omg, I wish it has!), I wanted this to all take place right before Advent Children. So just imagine everyone wearing whatever you've seen them wear in advent children trailers or pics, K? K. Yeah, I'm already on the next chapter, I promise that one will be better, I swear. I know this one was sorta lame, and I'm sorry! Next one Better!


	4. Ninja! Attack!

Chapter 4

It took a while to get Tifa and Cloud off her back when Yuffie came in their house with a tear-soaked face. However, she managed. She told them that she urgently had to leave, thanking them for their hospitality as she bid farewell to the couple. They were solemn to see her leave on such low spirits but Tifa managed to talk her into staying long enough to pack her a lunch for the road. After an hour, the young Wutain was off southwards to her next destination. After several hours, she could hardly see Nibelheim at the base of the mountains when she stopped to take a breather.

"Maybe it was a mistake to ever visiting that stupid vampire jerk! Well, at least I got his materia, that'll teach em to think twice before pissing off the great ninja Yuffie Kisaragi!" She exclaimed, punching the air wildly with a nutty smirk on her face. The smirk soon faded to a frown and she let herself slump down onto the ground, sitting on her butt.

"But now I feel like I've lost a friend………" Yuffie murmured to herself. She let out a heavy sigh and stood back up before clearing her throat and looking at the now darkening sky. "Well, I should find a place to set up camp soon. Man, nighttime around here gives me the creeps with all them wolves!"

Meanwhile, back at Tifa and Clouds….

"Oh, Cloud, knock it off!" Tifa giggled as Cloud went about tickling her. She turned to face him laughing and put her arms around his neck as they sat on their couch in their living room. Cloud was nuzzling her neck now as she continued giggling.

"Say I'm right!" Cloud prodded playfully as he continued poking her sides.

"Fine! I'm right!" Tifa proclaimed mocking him, only to receive more tickles from her lover and almost falling off the couch. "Cloud! Heheheh!"

"Not, until you admit that it is I who is right!" Cloud smiled, grabbing her to pull her close again. They looked into each other's eyes while smiling, closing the distance between their faces. Their lips barely brushed when they heard a knock on their door. Cloud cursed whoever it was silently as Tifa got up smiling to open the door. When she opened the front door, she couldn't help but let out a surprised 'Oh!' To her greatest surprise it was Vincent.

"Vincent! This is a bit unexpected. W-we haven't seen you in a while." Tifa opened the door wider to invite him in. He, however, shook his head to the invitation.

"Good evening Tifa." Vincent said before glancing over her shoulder to notice Cloud. "And Cloud." He went on in his usual monotone voice. "I came by hoping that you might know where Yuffie is."

"Oh! Well, she was here about an hour and a half ago to get her stuff and she left in a hurry. She looked as if she was a little troubled." Tifa told him, trying to find a mild way of saying the words. "Um, did something happen between you two—"

"We just………" Vincent paused to rethink his answer. "Um. She stole my materia again, I'm just looking for her to get it back is all."

Cloud had come to the door after hearing this. "Oh, Tif, it seems like I'm right about TWO things today."

Tifa elbowed him to shut him up and turned back to the brooding man on their front step. Tifa knew Yuffie to have been a thief in the past, but she usually didn't steal from anyone who was in Avalanche unless she was greatly angered or deeply offended in some way, in fact she promised she wouldn't and had not since the incident in Wutai two years prior. She had a suspicion that Vincent was hiding more than he'd like to share, though she didn't dare pressure an answer out of a man like him. She smiled again at Vincent. "I'm sorry she did that, I would think she'd have more sense than to steal from a friend. I honestly don't know where she is going, though I now she was heading south. Perhaps to Cosmos Canyon."

Vincent thought on the word 'friend' for a moment, feeling further guilty for practically accusing Yuffie of stealing for no reason. He brought his eyes back up to the woman before him. "Thank you. I'll leave you two to one another." Tifa blushed as he turned to leave. Vincent paused for a moment and glanced over his shoulder to add another comment. "Congratulations, to the both of you."

Tifa stared at him as Vincent walked on again, Cloud's jaw dropped when he processed the words. They turned to each other before going back inside, Tifa smiling deviously. "So he did get the invitation!"

"Well we put it on his box so he'd see it when he had to go to the bathroom or eat or something! But he didn't say anything about coming to the wedding." Cloud told her. They continued their playful bickering as they went back to each other.

Back to Yuffie after an hour has passed.

The multicolored materia sparkled in the firelight as Yuffie held it up to view it. She went through the materia that she had grabbed from Vincent at the base of a steep mountainside. The materia was cold between her fingers making her smile slightly. Though her new materia was pretty nice, most of it being mastered, she still felt a bit crappy. Her conscience told her that she promised not to steal anymore from anyone in Avalanche, even Vinny. She frowned and stomped her foot in the dirt for letting conscience get the better of her feelings. She countered her conscience's voice aloud. "Well it was his fault! He was being a butthead and wouldn't listen to me! He doesn't deserve this materia!"

She huffed out some air as she put the stolen orbs into her pack and laid down to look up at the stars. They at least made her feel serene, though also made her tired when they twinkled down at her. Calmed down and comfortable, Yuffie's eyelids began to get heavier and heavier. Soon, her thought drifted back towards Vincent and his silly red cape. Within ten minutes she had dozed off next to the fire.

The howl of a nearby wolf made Yuffie jump awake again. The fire had died and the crescent moon had risen to hang higher in the black sky painted with stars. Yuffie shivered and almost felt as if something was watching her. She pulled her travel blanket over her tightly as she went for a piece of fire materia. Everything was dark, save for the moon in the sky, yet it didn't help her much being only a sliver of the entire moon. Digging through her bag, she paused when she heard leaves crunching ten feet to her left. Listening more intently, she heard various noises surrounding her and very close by. Though they were subtle, she knew now that she wasn't paranoid and really wasn't alone at all.

'Okay! Stupidest mistake number one: Taking rash actions and not waiting until the next day to travel freaky fields alone! Gawd! Yuffie, you idiot!' Yuffie thought, grabbing a few materia out of her bag and squinting in the dark to see what they were. More crunching noises, causing her mind to race. 'Fire! I need Fire!'

"Ah! Fire!" Yuffie shouted when she recognized one of the orbs. Fire exploded where the campfire once was, sending light all about the area. Yuffie gulped back a scream when she saw more than twenty or so Nibel Wolves completely surrounding her now snarling and howling from the sudden light. Light reflected off the many eyes of the wolves as they circled her slowly, preparing to jump for her throat. Yuffie tried to slowly reach for her shuriken lying next to her bag, grasping the mastered Fire materia tightly in one hand. One wolf behind her was tired of waiting and lunged to attack hoping to catch Yuffie off guard, however it wasn't lucky enough. Yuffie brought her shuriken up, impaling the wolf's skull. Several more lunged for the young ninja, hoping for a meal. Yuffie sent out multiple swipes of her shuriken, kicks, and punches, repelling the attacking wolves. She let out a laugh at them. "HA! You think you mutts can take down the ultimate sezzy ninja! Bring it on, ya flea bags!"

Almost as if they understood her mockery and insults, the wolves looked at each other before snarling back at her. Four more wolves lunged at her at once, occupying all her limbs from kicks and punches. While she was taking care of the four, another wolf was able to sneak up and sink its teeth into Yuffie's right shoulder. She cried out in pain as she used her shuriken to beat the wolf's face bloody to try and get it to let go. However, because she was busy with the decoying wolf another wolf launched itself for her jugular. Yuffie turned her head soon enough to watch, as if in slow matrix motion, the wolf flying at her. She would not be able to bring her defenses up fast enough and realizing this made her eyes widen in terror. She watched as the wolf's head exploded after a sharp gunshot to her far right went off. The now headless wolf body hit her hard, covering her in blood.

"AW! GROSSNESS! And YOU! GET THE HELL OFF ME, MUTT!" Yuffie exclaimed at the mess as she pushed the corpse off and gave a final stab to the wolf that still hung onto her shoulder, finally getting it off. She looked up to see Vincent's cold silhouette form into a man when he came close enough to the firelight. He shot off an approaching wolf and glanced over to Yuffie. She stared up at him, surprised enough to forget about her shoulder wound. However, he noticed and she could have sworn she saw his cold façade shift to worry. Because he was distracted with the view of Yuffie's shoulder wound, he didn't notice the wolf beside him lunge until Yuffie's scream. "VINNY! LOOK OUT!"

Vincent turned too late as a Nibel wolf brought its jaws down onto the side of Vincent's neck. Yuffie let out a scream and hurled her shuriken at the wolf while Vincent let out a choking sound. Yuffie kicked the wolf off him and went to catch him as he fell. She looked down at him as he tried to grab at the gash in his neck, noticing something that made her let go. Vincent fell beside her and began to shake spastically, his eyes began to roll up, his bones could be heard snapping to shift location, and his clothes began melting away along with the rest of his human form. Yuffie had seen this happen only twice before and both times frightened her. He was transforming into Chaos from taking a great deal of damage. Yuffie fell back on her back as black wings ripped out of the form. What was left of the wolves was already backing away slowly, just like Yuffie was now doing. Vincent completed the transformation into the destructive demon that now gave out a howl. Yuffie continued to scoot back slowly, hoping Chaos wouldn't notice her. Yet, she was the first thing he laid his black eyes on as he stood. She let out a small shriek as she struggled to her feet. Chaos began advancing towards her, baring sharp fangs and flexing his sharp claws. She held up her hands to show she was not his enemy, giving a nervous smile.

"Uh, V-Vinny, It's me! Yuffie! Please don't kill me, I'm sorry I took your materia, you can totally have it back! It's right there in my bag. Uh, yeah, in the bag you just stepped over. Um, Vincent!" Yuffie began to panic as Chaos continued to approach. Lucky for her, one of the Nibel wolves thought it could take down Chaos. The wolf that attacked soon wound up on the ground ripped in half, sending the rest of the wolves running. Chaos went after the wolves, hunting each one of them down mercilessly and tearing them to shreds. Yuffie took the opportunity to run in the exact opposite direction of Chaos: up the mountainside next to her campsite. She climbed and leaped her way up as fast as ninjaly possible to escape the same fate as the wolves. She slipped a few times, scraping and cutting her arms and legs, though she hardly noticed. After twenty minutes, she took the time to look back over her shoulder when she slipped for the tenth time. She could see the small fire far below with wolf corpses littering the ground all around it. She could see no sign of Chaos, nor heard the yelping of dying wolves. For the time being, Yuffie didn't want to go back down anytime soon.

"Oh, Gawd! Stupid, Stupid! You're so stupid, Yuffie!" She told herself as she went back to climbing up the mountain, trying to ignore her aching body screaming for her to rest. She was almost to the top of the mountainside with only thirty feet to go, when she heard the heavy beating of wings coming her way. "Oh, sweet Leviathan, please don't be psycho Vinny………"

A loud roar answered above her, convincing her that she needed to climb really really fast. At the top of the mountainside, the moon was reflecting off a large body of water about as far down below as the campsite was behind her. The sound of a waterfall was the last thing she heard before she was grabbed roughly by a pair of sharp claws. Yuffie shrieked in complete horror as she was lifted high up into the air by the beast that was once Vincent. Chaos let out a malevolent cackle while clasping onto Yuffie by the front of her shirt. The terrified girl clung unto the leathery wrists of her captor when he decided to swoop down near the water. She began getting the horrible feeling in her stomach that she always got whenever she was on airships and boats.

"Oh, great! Let's get sick right before I get ripped apart! WHAT MORE COULD POSSIBLY GO WRO—Ugh! GLUGHBLAH!" Yuffie managed to scream before she lost all of the lunch Tifa made her, into Chaos' face. Yuffie then passed out as Chaos flew into the cliff next to the waterfall due to being blinded by Yuffie's vomit. Chaos howls and transforms back into an unconscious Vincent while still holding onto an also unconscious Yuffie, sliding downwards. The two fell about ten feet onto grass, Vincent braking Yuffie's fall.

* * *

Author's Notes: Hahaha! I suck. Anyways, I'm going to try and make it funnier. TOO SERIOUS! I don't like serious, tis boring. BUT, usually it gets the job done. I LOVE PRINGLES! If anyone gave me a pringle, I'd give them a kiss! I hope to include various bits of Vincent's solemn past with wu. Hehehe, wu is you. HA. I'm, I'm really lame. But I get the job done. Hmmmm, yea, job……… Ten more reviews please! Thanks! 


	5. Trees are mother earth's lung spores!

Chapter 5

Vincent awoke with the sun beaming into his face with cruel rays of light that stun his eyes like fire. He hurried to shield his pale face from the light that burned so unkindly. It was then that he noticed he was covered in blood and some other foul smelling substance with a bloody and beaten up, unconscious Yuffie laying beside him. His mind was still hazy, but he knew that Chaos had forced his way out last night. Noticing the deep shoulder wound on the girl filled him with an agonizing impression of what he could have done to her. He lifted her up into his arms gently, feeling with his normal hand for her pulse.

'Weak, but still a pulse.' Vincent thought, relieved. He went to reach for his restore materia but remembered Yuffie had stolen it the previous day. He searched her for any materia but had no luck. He studied his surroundings, shocked that they were at the waterfall where he and his former lover met many times long ago.

'Ah, how precious, this is where I found you, Vincent.' A jagged voice within his mind said to him in mocking way. Vincent recognized the voice within him, choosing to acknowledge this time instead of blocking it out like usual.

'Chaos……… What did you do to Yuffie?' Vincent demanded darkly within his own mind as he began cleaning her shoulder with water from the waterfall nearby.

'Oh! This delicious little girl from the other day and last night? Mm, well less than I was planning to do, if you know what I mean. I've had my eye on her.' Chaos mused. The demon then added more that surprised Vincent. 'Unfortunately, she blew chunks into my face before I could do anything real exciting.'

'Uh. Wha--No, never mind. What exactly did you do to her? You didn't rip her shoulder apart, did you?' Vincent asked, trying to figure out how to cover the gash at the same time.

'What do you care? You don't care for anyone but yourself, like me. You're no different from me. Now if she wasn't so hot, I'd say leave her and let her bleed for stealing our stuff, man.' Chaos replied carelessly. Vincent's eyes narrowed. 'No, I didn't mame her! There, you happy? Course you aren't, you're always no fun………'

'Shut up.' Vincent told him. The crimson-eyed man finally remembered the wolves that had attacked Yuffie, being the ones that gave her the wound on her shoulder, relieving him slightly.

'See what I mean? Man, you suck. You never want to go to any bars or strip clubs or—' Chaos complained until he looked out the eyes of his host to see that the young girl's shirt was being lifted. 'YES! Now THIS is what I'm talking about!'

"……… I'm only dressing her wounds." Vincent proclaimed aloud as if to assure himself it was all right while peeling Yuffie's bloodstained shirt off her skin. He gently slid the shirt off the girl, exposing her bra-cladded breasts. Vincent blushed a shade darker than his porcelain complexion, hardly noticeable to anyone who would have seen it. Clearing his throat and tearing his eyes from her perfect and young body (with the exception of the bloody gash on her shoulder and the various scratches and bruises), he grabbed his cape and tore a clean length from it at the bottom, tying it around the girl's shoulder.

'What lusciously perky breasts she has! Oh man! Let me out of here! I just wanna piece of her!' Chaos pounded on Vincent's brain, struggling to gain control. Vincent, however, was strong and rested enough to easily contain him as he usually did. Chaos groaned. '#($! Hmph……… Hey, why not take a little taste, eh? Eh? I know you want to, come on………'

"………" Vincent tried ignoring him, though he knew he was right.

'Come on, just a little, itty-bitty taste couldn't hurt. Just give her a taste.' Chaos urged. 'Come on—'

'If I do, will you shut up?' Vincent demanded.

'Hell, I'd wash your car if you had one.' Chaos replied.

'Okay, then shut up.' He looked around and then back down at the unconscious Shinobe. Vincent reached down and carefully lifted the bandage with his fingers before pulling them out and bringing them to his mouth. He had to admit that the young girl's blood tasted delightful. Inside Vincent's mind, Chaos was slapping his forehead.

'No! I was talking about like taking her tight little shorts off and getting on top and—' Chaos yelled in his brain.

'Is that all you think about? Killing, sex, killing, and more sex. She's eighteen! She's way too young for me. I am not going to rape her. You are so vulgar.' Vincent interrupted.

'Hey, what can I say, I AM a demon after all. You don't HAVE to rape her, that's just how I'd do it. Anyways, you could even do it the boring way, I know you could woo her if you wanted to, why not give it a try? Eighteen is a legal age.' Chaos prodded him. 'It wouldn't be long until she'd be calling your name in pleasure.'

'Ugh! Just shut up! I refuse to even consider your outrageous suggestions.' Vincent told him, blocking him out entirely now. He got up from the ground and undid his cloak and shirt, tearing the smelly pieces of clothing off to clean them. He noticed that Yuffie's vomit was even in his hair, giving him no choice but to wash it. He decided, before doing anything else, to carry Yuffie into the hidden cave behind the waterfall, careful not to get her wet.

Yuffie tossed her head about, groaning in pain as she began to wake up. She opened her eyes to find herself in a cave. It seemed familiar to her. Turning her head about, she noticed that the bite wounds were dressed with red fabric and that her shirt was missing. Her upper body shot up into a sitting position, filling her lungs with air, only to let it out again with a long scream. Vincent ran into the cave shirtless and his upper body wet. Yuffie stared at him, never seeing him so exposed in her life before.

"What is wrong?" Vincent asked in monotone, looking down at Yuffie who was gaping up at him and covering her chest at the same time. Tired of her only staring and not answering, he asked again. "What were you screaming about?"

"Oh my GAWD! You DO have a lower jaw! I've like never seen it with your cape thingy on all the time!" Yuffie exclaimed before remembering why she had screamed. "Uh, Oh, yeah! WHERE THE HELL DID MY SHIRT GO? YOUR GROSS DEMON GUY MOLESTED ME, DIDN'T HE! Eeewwww………"

'Hey! Tell her I'm not gross! I have feelings too, you know!' Chaos told his host.

"No he didn't. I had to take your shirt off to dress your wound, and since it was covered in blood I thought I would wash it for you with my things. They are out drying now." Vincent told her calmly. She was still staring at him, blushing.

'Oh my GAWD, again! He is so pale! And he looks pretty good without the cape……… OH MY GAWD! WHY AM I THINKING THIS! He's got to be like sixty or something! But damn, does he age well, he looks like he's like twenty something……… STOP IT! OH, CRAP! I'm staring and he's totally noticing it! Quit it! Look awaaaaaay……… Okay, shiny stone chair at the end of this cave, Hmmmmmm……… Oh, I remember this place, it's where he met that ghost chick he's all obsessed with. Too bad she dumped him, she must not have realized how hot he—STOP!' Yuffie's mind was having a nuclear meltdown as Vincent stared down at her, trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

'She's totally checking you out. Do something, like rub your nipple or something. It'll entice her.' Chaos said in his brain.

'What in the hell! No! Shut up.' Vincent told him, utterly disgusted with the demon.

"Soooooo, watcha doin' washing your hair?" Yuffie asked to try and get her mind off the exposed Vincent before her. It wasn't working all that well because she began watching the droplets of water run down his flawless skin. She was nowred from her thoughts. 'WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? Ewww, I'm officially grossed out at myself. His red eyes are glaring at me again. He looked like a vampire, especially with that claw and those eyes and that cape, but for some reason he looks almost pretty instead of scary without the cape. Pretty vampire. I wonder if he has fangs……… I'm going to stab myself if I don't knock it off soon. He hates me, especially for stealing his materia. But he's really pretty. ARGGGHHH! Oh, he's talking to me again!'

"When I woke up, I seemed to be covered in vomit and blood. It was the most logical thing to do." Vincent told the red faced Yuffie, who only turned redder in embarrassment.

"Ah, well, um……… Yeah, about that, you sorta picked me up when you were that Chaos thingy and flew me around and well……… I was like 'Ahhh!' and you were like 'Grrr!', and then I was all 'Ughh!' and you went 'Arrr!' and then I went 'Blahhh!'" Yuffie tried to explain, using hand motions to help explain, emphasizing the 'blah' part with a vomiting motion with her hand. Vincent then remembered that Yuffie got motion sickness easily in the air or on boats. He grinned ever so slightly. Yuffie noticed, leading to another moment of staring. 'Holy shit! HE JUST SMILED! WHAT THE #$IS HAPPENING! IS THE WORLD ENDING!'

"I don't think Chaos makes pirate noises." Vincent said emotionlessly.

'Arrr matey.' Chaos said in Vincent's mind.

'Shut up.' Vincent told him.

His face went serious again with his eyes penetrating hers. "Yuffie, where is my materia?"

"Oh, um, on the other side of the mountainside to the right of the waterfall, if I can remember it all right." Yuffie twiddled her thumbs and avoiding his gaze. Glancing up at him, she winced under his cold glare. "Yeah, about your materia……… I'm sorry I took, really! I won't ever, EVER take it again, promise! Especially when you came after me as that Chaos demon. Won't even look at it again. Figures that you'd come only for your materia, l knew—"

"I apologize for infuriating you yesterday……… I will make it up to you." Vincent said turning from her as she mumbled to herself. Her head snapped up with her jaw dropped. She let out a yelp of confusion and fell backwards onto her back. He raised an eyebrow at the strange ninja girl.

'Dooooo heeeeer………' Chaos whispered to him.

'Noooooo! She is far too innocent to be tainted by my touch.' Vincentsaid as an excuse tothe demon while observing the posture of her frail yetmature body. The demon laughed at him when he tore his eyes from her.

'Let me tell you something, almost all innocence fades sooner or later, buddy. But I do not see hers doing so, so even when we're done intoxicating her with our studly hot moves of sexiness, she'll be as spunky as ever.' Chaos tried to reassure him. 'A girl like her won't let anything faze her.'

'We?' Vincent inquired suspiciously.

'Well, you, of course. I'll just be watching and cheering you on from the sidelines. Yeah.' Chaos said to him.

'………' Vincent almost pondered what it'd be like but shook his head to clear it. He refocused his vision back on Yuffie. "We should go soon. We will need the materia to heal that shoulder of yours."

"Are you sick!" Yuffie questioned, jerking upwards again. He blinked at her, she blinked back. 'First he smiles, then apologizes, and now he seems like he is troubled about my freakin shoulder! What is happening here, did I miss something!'

"No, whatever injuries or illnesses I am inflicted with disappear after I transform into the demons, such as Chaos." Vincent told her in a monotone voice as usual. She heaved a heavy sigh and got up, placing her hands on her hips. He looked down at her petite form once more, noticing how it curved in all the right places, and turned to leave before she could see his slight blush. Yuffie shrugged at him and followed, not caring anymore about exposing her bra. They came to the waterfall and Vincent just walked through. Yuffie looked at the water, trying to decide either to go through it and clean her blood covered self, or walk along the side of it where Vincent obviously carried her in. She shrugged again and slowly walked into the falls. Cold yet refreshing, she smiled and began washing the blood of the wolves off. Yuffie finally finished and jumped out of the falls onto the other side to find Vincent waiting for her. He began to stare at her, his face flushing a darker color this time.

"What? WHAT! Do I have something on my shirt?" Yuffie asked, looking down. She forgot she had no shirt on and only a white bra, a white bra that was wet, now a bit transparent, and showing a bit more than needed. She blushed furiously and covered her chest as best she could. "OMG! PEEEEEEEEEEERVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT!"

Yuffie was now throwing rocks at the blushing Vincent, while Chaos was laughing his ass off inside Vincent's mind. He was able to dodge all the rocks and was now running towards his clothes that lay in the sun to dry. His clothes were still really damp, being large and heavy fabric, but her shirt was completely dry. He grabbed it and threw it at her, hitting her in the face. She quickly put it on and smoothed back her hair to try and rid the blush from her face. He grabbed his stuff and began up the mountainside. She huffed in anger and embarrassment before she followed. He didn't put on his shirt or cloak the entire way up, forcing her to watch his flawless back radiate in the sunlight, his muscles work in a slow rhythm, and his midnight black locks of hair sway to an fro as if to tempt her senses.

"Why don't you put on your clothes!" She asked bad-temperedly. 'And what the &#$ is his problem! He is acting REALLY weird. So am I……… He has a nice back, and I've never noticed how perfect his hair is, I bet it's really soft……… GAWD!' She took the time to slap herself.

"They are not completely dry. If it troubles you, I can put them on." Vincent said, bringing her out of her thoughts. She was given the choice of making him modest or letting him stroll up the mountain half naked. She chose the later.

"Nah, it's cool. Just wonderin'." Yuffie told him as they reached the top. They looked down at the fields below until Yuffie pointed down to her left. She held her finger out as she turned to him and his perfectly chiseled chest. "D-Down there is, uh, is my campsiiiiite………"

Vincent looked over at the enchanted eighteen-year-old girl. She stood staring at his muscles. Again, he raised his eyebrow, deciding to mess with her. He slapped his human hand and claw to his chest, as if to cover it from her stare and said in a mocking voice, "Omg! Pervert!"

"………Ahhhhhh!" Yuffie snapped out of her thoughts and covered her beet-red face with her hands. She screamed as she ran down the mountain to her campsite. Vincent started down the mountainside, following the ninja while chuckling and putting on his clothes.

'Told you she wants you! Just take her! Make sweet love to her tonight. She'll be more than willing to, I promise.' Chaos informed him.

'What have I told you about shutting up?' Vincent asked the demon residing in his mind. Chaos only let out a growl. The now fully dressed ex-Turk walked up to the embarrassed ninja who was going through a bag of stolen materia. She got up and approached him, her face still red as she handed him his materia. He looked down at her coolly like nothing happened. "What is wrong, Yuffie?"

"N-Nothing! I'm absolutely, super, duper, insanely fine! There! You got your stupid materia, now go back to that box you love so much and marry it!" Yuffie kicked a lone tree nearby in frustration. She turned back around, startled to find the cloaked man towering over her just inches away.

"What is wrong? Do I make you nervous, Yuffie?" He stared down into her stormy eyes, trying hard to not smirk. She gulped, feeling as if he was penetrating her soul and reading her thoughts.

"Heh-Ha! You think you can make me scared, Dracula Boy? I, the Great Yuffie Kisaragi, am afraid of nothing! You are nothing but a butt nugget to me, so watch out or I'll steal your materia again! And this time, you won't even be able to find me!" She proclaimed, turning to punch the tree. This time, when she turned back to face Vincent again, she smacked right into his chest. She timidly peered up into the blood red eyes of the ex-Turk. He raised his claw arm and grasped her chin, forcing her face upwards. Her face almost matched his cloak as he bent over to her.

"I would find you………… One way or the other……… Why do I make you so nervous, Yuffie?" Vincent almost purred to her, inches from her face. She yelped in fright and turned to flee from the Vampiric man, only to run face first into the tree that she assaulted earlier. She fell to the ground in a broken heap. Vincent looked down at her, smirking. "Oh, that reminds me. Cure 3."

Yuffie's entire body completely healed when a delicious warm sensation flowed entirely through her. He bent down and picked her up. She unleashed a fury of attacks on the innocent tree to vent her wild emotions. Utterly annihilating the tree and grabbing her stuff, Yuffie set out from the campsite, completely ignoring the now cynical man. He couldn't help but follow her since he was beginning to almost enjoy torturing her.

* * *

Author's Notes: NO TREES WERE ACTUALLY HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS CHAPTER! I love trees! I hug them! Hug them and they will give you candy! It's true! Now review and go hug a tree! Hehehe, a certain red head might be appearing in the next chappy. 


	6. Tag or Axe bodyspray? Which is better?

Chapter 6

Author: I guess I should do one of those disclaimer thingies. Well here it goes. I do NOT own anyone in the Square soft/enix universe, Tag body spray, or Axe body spray. But damn, that would be )$#ing cool now wouldn't it? SUSHI! Argh! Read, human, read!

'Just give it a little pinch, she's just asking for it, wiggling her hips like that!' Chaos pleaded.

'I am NOT pinching her ass. So just knock it off.' Vincent told the demon as he followed a few feet behind the eighteen-year-old ninja. It hadn't been even five minutes when she finally turned around with steam coming out her ears.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOLLOWING ME! YOUR BOX IS THE OTHER WAY!" Yuffie shouted. She stared at him, he stared back.

"…………" Vincent just stared. She poked him. "………"

"Well?" she waited. Cocking her head to the side and placing a hand on a well-shaped hip, giving her a cute appeal Vincent couldn't help but notice.

"…………………………" Vincent continued, looking away from her and off into space. "………………………………….."

"Hello?" She waved her hands to get his attention. "Hey! DO NOT IGNORE ME!"

"…………………" Was all that came from him. "………………"

"I'm ganna wallop you if you don't say somethin'!" Yuffie cracked her knuckles threateningly. He looked back down at her with his crimson eyes.

"………………………………" Vincent shrugged. "………Something."

"Argh! Come on! LET'S GO! I'll take you down! PUT EM UP!" Yuffie told him, punching the air in front of her for a warm-up.

"Where do you plan on going?" Vincent asked, poking her back with his claw.

"To your mom! It's none of your business, you fruit cake!" She replied, folding her arms before her. (She was still mad about being humiliated earlier, if you couldn't tell.)

"Tell me." Vincent said in monotone, narrowing his eyes in a very frightening and serious way. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"To Cosmo Canyon, why?" She asked.

"Curious." He replied.

"Why are you following me?" Yuffie asked.

"……………You wanted me to live outside my 'box'." He said to her quietly. She smiled to herself. He was caught off guard when she reached up and pulled his collar down. "What are you doing?"

"Checking to see if you really are a vampire." Yuffie told him, trying to wrench open his mouth. She pulled his lips apart and frowned. "Normal teeth? That ain't right, where're your fangs!"

"…………" Vincent scowled down at her when she pulled her hands away.

"Meh, when they do come out, don't you dare suck my blood. If you can manage to do that, you can hang with me." Yuffie told him with a giggle, kicking a rock under her shoe. They continued on. She glanced behind at him. "Hey, Vinny. How old are you?"

"………Old enough." Was his answer.

"Aw, come on, Vinny! I won't tell anyone." Yuffie grinned.

"Physically, my body is twenty-seven. Though because Hojo had altered it, I do not age and have been alive for fifty-nine years" Vincent said softly.

"HOLY COW! Man! I should start calling you grandpa." Yuffie gaped.

"I'd prefer you didn't. Vinny is bad enough." He told her.

"Well, I like Vinny." She blushed, and he glimpsed it.

'BEND HER OVER AND GIVE IT TO HER RIGHT HERE AND NOW!' Chaos screamed. "It's getting hot in here! Let's take off all our clothes—AND DO IT!."

'I'm going to murder you.' Vincent declared. He let out a sigh aloud. Yuffie heard his sigh of despair and frowned.

"Are you getting depressed already? Here, the next time you get depressed, imagine this: You are a Siamese twin. Your brother that is attached to you at the shoulder is gay. You are not. But you only have one arse." Yuffie advised.

"…………" He stared at her and she beamed with happiness. 'Strange girl. Pretty, but very strange girl.'

'You're telling me………" Chaos agreed. 'Eh? You finally admit she's a cutie? Ah! We're making progress now.'

'Soooo, now he is following me……… Don't know whether to be happy that he's out of that box, or to be freakin scared to be alone with him. He's been weird every since this morning. But he's starting to open up, a bit strange and gloomy still, but at least I can get him talking about stuff other than 'atoning'. Maybe this is closer to how the REAL Vincent really was.' Yuffie thought. They continued for a day until they saw Cosmo Canyon's bonfire light ahead in the distance.

Meanwhile in the Starlet Pub of Cosmo Canyon………

There were two men dressed in blue suites, drunk beyond all hell. Both had consumed far too much, as usual. The bald one was already passed out at his table, surrounded by empty shot glasses and snoring loudly. The second man with flaming red hair lay on the floor, pretending to be passed out. Everyone else in the pub didn't pay any mind to the two drunken Turks and went about their business and their own drinking. The redheaded Turk peeked out through his eyelids as a woman in a mini-skirt stepped over him. He held back a grin when he saw the sight that excited him.

'Ohhhhh! A red thong! Niiiiice. Oop! Here comes another one! ……… Ohhhhh, yeaaah! NO UNDIES! I'd like to go home with her to—Wow! Hold the phone! That is one fiiiiiine piece of ass! What a cute blonde! Oh? She's coming this way!' He peeled his eyes as the third woman in a dress strode over his head. His eye's shot open at what he saw. 'What the………! BLEEEAACK! THAT WASN'T A WOMAN! Oh, GAWD! I think I'm ganna hurl………'

The Turk turned to his side after the woman/man passed, projectile vomiting onto the bald Turk's pant's. A blonde woman in the similar blue pantsuit worn by Turk members came running into the pub, spotting her two drunken comrades. Her anger flashed across her face instantaneously.

"Reno! Rude! Damnit guys, you always run off to be the first ones smashed! I'm tired of being the designated driver! When do I get to drink!" The blonde screamed at them. Reno, the floored redhead, sat up to wipe vomit from the corners of his mouth. He turned and poked Rude in the ribs to wake up, but instead he fell out of the chair.

"When yewr oooold enouf to drink, Elennha." Reno slurred, downing another shot glass of the Cosmo Candle tequila drink the Starlet Pub was famous for. She snorted as his snide comment.

"I'm ($#ing twenty-four!" Elena screamed at him, waving her fist menacingly at the drunken Turk. He tossed the shot glass at her head, missing and hitting the face of a red-cladded man traveling with a youthful ninja.

"Ooops." Reno said.

"Oh my gawd, Vinny!" The gray-eyed ninja cried, catching the ex-Turk as he fell backwards.

"………………… Moogles? Why are there moogles? And what are they licking?" Vincent asked dazedly while Yuffie helped him into a nearby seat. His forehead was bleeding. Yuffie tried to dab away the blood with a napkin, as she looked up to see who threw the glass. She saw Elena, Reno and Rude, who was still passed out under the chair. Elena blinked at her.

"Hey, I remember you! You were the other girl that sick bastard, Don Corneo, kidnapped when he grabbed me. You were with Cloud!" Elena recounted. Her face went red with rage. "You guys killed my beloved Tseng! I will take my revenge! PREPARE TO DIE!"

"Um, actually it was Sephiroth who—" Yuffie began when she looked at the irate woman, before Reno shoved Elena out of the way and popped a few tic-tacs in his mouth.

"Heeeeeeeeeey, baby! I seen yew wif Cloooudy-boy! 'Sup? What was yer name again, beautiful?" Reno cooed, swaying to and fro because of his alcohol intake. He gave her a sly smile and a wink after pecking her hand with a kiss. Yuffie giggled, remembering Reno well from her adventures with Cloud just two years back. The two never really exchanged words because at the time they were enemies, though she did think he was cute and cool because he was always so casual about everything. However, since Shinra was no more, she didn't have to worry too much. Her eyes twinkled with amusement when she brushed back her bangs, enticing the redhead with her stormy gray eyes.

"It's Yuffie. And don't you forget it!" She grinned impishly. The Turk smirked while giving her the look over, leaning on a table to keep himself steady. Having forgotten about Vincent and Elena, the two began to chat flirtatiously.

Vincent peered out of his eyes, feeling the sting of blood in them. He reached up with his hand and pulled slivers of glass from his forehead. He saw the glass thrower, Reno of the Turks, and Yuffie chatting, in a very friendly manner. Almost, too friendly. The demon inside his head began to freak.

'SHIT SHIT SHIT! What are you doing sitting there like that, crying about some flesh wound, when that hot little peach of ours is being hit on by some drunk dumbass!' Chaos screamed at his host.

'It's quite clear; she is not interested in me. No one is, not even Lucrecia was. And I realize now that I was wrong in not returning to that coffin.' Vincent replied solemnly, watching the two talk. He let out a sigh.

'F(#ING MORON! She belongs to you, not that fire-crotch weasel! Let me out and I'll take care of him!' Chaos raged in his brain, scratching for a foothold of control. Vincent suppressed him with a great deal of restraint. Chaos soon gave up the struggle and began a new approach. 'My dear host, you followed her for a reason. You may say it is to make up for being an ass. Bullshit, that is not why you followed her. You may not realize it, but I sure as hell do. You fancy the girl. As part of you, I know it to be true. Now, when you could see the signs of her showing some interest in you, you decide to throw it away due to a little competition. The REAL Vincent is not that weak.'

'No, the real Vincent IS that weak. I wasn't strong enough to save Lucrecia. I wasn't strong enough to stop Hojo. I was weak, and for that I must atone. My weakness is a sin itself. Yuffie deserves someone strong, not someone weak such as I. I chose what made me the weakest.' Vincent lamented, pulling the last of the glass shards from his forehead.

Flashback time! Dodododododoooo!

Vincent, the strikingly handsome twenty-six year old Turk, was at the local Fred Meyers in search for what will help him reclaim his love forever. (Wait, they don't have Fred Meyers in the ff7 world……… Oh, well, work with me here.) He stood in the personal hygiene aisle, gazing at the many products. He grabbed one and proceeded to buy it. Little did he know, the one who rivaled him for his love came in right after he got his product, and bought the rivaling product. Later that night……… Vincent stood in the lab of the Shinra mansion, holding the product in his hot little hands.

"This is sure to make Lucrecia love me instead of that filth, Hojo!" Vincent said, spraying himself down with the Tag Body Spray. Hojo then walks in laughing.

"You foolish Turk! With my knowledge, I have calculated the formula brand that will make Lucrecia choose me as her partner in a relationship, and not you! Hahahah! Behold! The Axe Effect!" Hojo then sprays the Axe Body Spray all over himself. It was then that Lucrecia entered the room with a cup of coffee. She dropped the coffee when she was hit with two irresistible aromas. Her nose was in ecstasy as she sniffed both scents, going towards one then turning back to the other and then back again. Vincent prayed she would choose him as Hojo rubbed his hands and chuckled evilly. Lucrecia, still overwhelmed, finally threw herself at the stronger aroma……… Towards Hojo.

"Sorry, Vincent." Lucrecia said, linking arms with Hojo. They left the room, Hojo still laughing menacingly.

"Lucrecia! Noooooo! Why, Lucrecia, why?" Vincent sobbed, dropping to his knees. He picked up the Tag Body Spray, chucking it against the wall, only for it to ricochet off the wall and hit him in the face. He cursed the body spray that made him the weaker one. "DAMN YOU TAG BODY SPRAY! DAMN YOU TO HELL!"

End flashback time! Dodododododoooo!

'Oh, for the love of GOD! Get over that Lucrecia woman! So you made a few mistakes, then again who hasn't? Vincent, are you so willing to let a mistake happen twice? Will you let Yuffie go as you had let Lucrecia go?' Chaos said. 'Show the girl that you are willing to give life a second chance, and you'll be doing her before you know it.'

'…………' Vincent was stunned at what the demon had said. He thought on it for a bit before answering. He looked back at Yuffie as she laughed at one of Reno's jokes. His eyes narrowed from jealousy without realizing it. Vincent growled as he stood up, getting the attention of Yuffie. His cold red eyes pierced the young ninja's, full of disdain regarding her actions. Her words caught in her throat, silencing her. He callously gave a quick glance at the drunken Turk, forcing him to resign from the conversation as well. The glances were prompt, yet were effective. Despite his bleeding face, Vincent relentlessly made a dramatically swift exit up the stairs to the inn, his tattered cape billowing behind him in a blur of crimson. Yuffie blinked, unsure of what she saw in his quick gaze. Reno just didn't know what the hell was going on.

"Yo, he yer boyfriend?" He asked hazily. Yuffie blushed just thinking of the idea.

"Hahaha! Vinny and me! No way, man! It's nothing like that! Where'd you get such a crazy idea!" Yuffie laughed nervously, scratching her head, confused.

"Weelll, it seems like he's a lil jealous." Reno grinned foolishly. "But then, who wouldn't be? Heeeey, I'm beginnin' to get sober again, can I buy you a drink?"

"Nah, not tonight, I'm too tired. Besides, I'm eighteen, so I can't really drink." Yuffie said, batting her bangs from her eyes. "I think I'm ganna hit the sack too, so I guess I'll see you around, right?"

"I truly hope so, babe." Reno said, running his fingers through his red mane. He flashed her his pearly whites, accompanied with a wink. (Fan girls in audience: **Swoon** OH RENO! HAVE MY CHILD!)"Have a wonderful evening."

"Ditto! Later." Yuffie smiled before running up the stairs and to her room.

She entered the dark room, vigilant of Vincent. She couldn't find the light switch and couldn't see at all. Yuffie speculated as to whether this was the right room. There was a shuffling sound in the corner, startling Yuffie when she found the lamp on the bed stand. Flipping the light on blinded her when she tried to see what was in the corner. When her eyes refocused enough to see again, she let out a yelp in surprise. Vincent was standing behind her with a fixed stare upon her.

"VINNY! Gawd! Stop doing that! I almost wet my pants!" Yuffie threw her stuff on one of the two beds. He remained motionless, his eyes never leaving her nor blinking. She stopped rummaging through her pack when she glanced over at him. "What? Did you want this bed? I can move to the other one."

"…………" Vincent's only movements were his steady breathing, though even that was shallow enough to go unnoticed. Yuffie raised an eyebrow.

"What's with you? You were somewhat talkative earlier today, don't tell me you're ganna shut up again now." Yuffie said humorously. When he didn't react, she just rolled her eyes and went back to her bag, pulling a few items and clothes out. "Look, I'm really dirty so I'm ganna grab the shower for a bit, okay? Try not to fall asleep standing up, okay, Vinny? And don't even think about trying anything funny. I've got really sharp objects, and I know how to use 'em."

She frolicked into the bathroom and closed the door, and soon water could be heard running. Vincent went and sat on the opposite bed, listening to the running water. He stared at the closed door that led to the bathroom, seeing steam filter through the door crack. He let his mind wander from one thing to the next as he unconsciously fixed his stare on the door: thoughts on Lucrecia and her beautiful smile, the actions that mistakenly took, his slumber in the coffin, the journey with Avalanche, defeating Sephiroth, and seeing Yuffie again. His thoughts wandered to the young girl in the bathroom and how he was now accompanying her. She was so energetic, full of life, and was the only one that truly showed that she cared. He may have loved Lucrecia, but she never loved him back. She never really cared. Not like Yuffie.

"_Well, I like Vinny."_

He recalled her saying, the words echoing in his mind. He shook his head to clear it, putting something else in his mind like the satisfaction of killing Hojo, though he only wound up thinking of Yuffie again. Vincent tried to remember why he decided to join Avalanche, only to remember that Yuffie was there with them, gawking at him while stating that his nightmares made her feel bad. He smiled faintly, frowning when he realized what he was thinking. Vincent was startled that everything he thought about came back to Yuffie. Vincent looked down at his claw, really really confused.

'Ah! My dear, sweet host! Love-struck, are we?' Chaos purred in a wicked sort of way.

"You're doing this aren't you? You're poisoning my mind with this perversion!" Vincent whispered aloud. Chaos laughed chaotically. (Wow, how clichéd) Vincent pulled back into his mind when he heard the shower turn off. 'Are you trying to make me a pedophile!'

'Nuh-uh. I have nothing to do with any of these thoughts. These are all YOUR thoughts. I'm just saying the facts. You DO have feelings for her, so get it on with her already, will ya? And as I said earlier, she's totally legal.' Chaos informed casually. 'I know no more and no less than you. I'm a part of you. You could say I'm the little devil on your shoulder, like the darker side of you. I'm all the bad stuff you keep bottled up.'

'……… Well then where's the angel or lighter side of me? Where's the good stuff?' Vincent asked.

'Hahahah! Oh, that's a good one! Hahaha—Oh, um, let's just say, YOU are the good side. Me and the other guys are the bad side, it's sorta balanced.' Chaos snorted, referring to the three other demons sleeping in the back of Vincent's mind. 'Deal with it, you like her and you will continue to like her.'

"…………………………" Vincent's thoughts were broken when he heard the door to the bathroom creak open slightly. Yuffie's head popped out of the door's crack.

"Uhhhhhhhhh, could you close your eyes, Vinny? I sorta left my sleeping shorts out there, so if you wouldn't mind………" The embarrassed Yuffie said.

"Not at all." Vincent said meekly, closing his eyes. He could hear Yuffie trot out of the bathroom to her bag on the bed right across from him.

'A little peek couldn't hurt, could it? Cooooooome oooooooon, just a tiny glance. You and I both know you want to.' Chaos urged in the back of his mind.

'Think of Lucrecia, think of Lucrecia, think of Lucrecia, think of Lucrecia………' Vincent repeated in his mind.

'Resistance is futile, you want to see this lovely little girl, so do it!' Chaos laughed. Vincent, indeed curious as to what she was wearing (or not wearing), slowly peeled his eyes open to see the young ninja in front of him. She was going through her bag, facing away from him, and wearing just a tight t-shirt and bikini cut underwear. 'WOOOHOOOO! What an ass! We gotta get her outta those, come on!'

'Damn you Chaos and my aroused hormones………' Vincent muttered in his mind, closing his eyes as Yuffie turned around to put on her sleeping shorts.

"Okay! I'm finished." Yuffie chirped, sitting on the bed across from Vincent to look at him. She watched as his ruby eyes opened slowly, meeting with hers. She never realized how long his lashes were, making his complexion picturesque and attractive. (Despite the fact that he had a gash where he'd been hit by a glass.) Her face became hot and she looked away; she had been sitting there just staring at him like some idiot. He had remained motionless, staring softly back at her like nothing was wrong. Yuffie stood up and grabbed an alcohol pad from her pack.

"What are you doing?" Vincent asked when she suddenly came over to his bed and bent down to where she was eye level with him. Because she was bent this way, he could see down her shirt. He found that she didn't wear a bra to bed. She gave him a grin when she pulled off his red bandana and cleaned his injury with the alcohol pad. He flinched slightly from the stinging, pulling his eyes from her cleavage. She held her hand above his forehead and closed her eyes.

"Getting rid of this hole in your forehead. Cure 2" She whispered. He felt warmth upon his forehead, coaxing him to close his eyes again. A sigh escaped his lips. Yuffie stared at his lashes again. 'Wow, they are indeed long. They are more noticeable when he doesn't have that bandana on. He looks so pretty. His hair is so silky looking……… Yuffie! Quit these thoughts! But it looks soooo soft………'

'I-Is she petting my hair!' Vincent opened his eyes to find that she was indeed playing with his hair. It felt nice, but also very awkward. "Um………… Yuffie?"

"Oh! Sorry! Thought I saw a bit of blood in your hair, okay, it's out!" Yuffie sprung back from Vincent and his red-eyed gaze. "Heheh, I think I'm going to hit the hay, or bed, or whatever. Sooooooo, yea, goodnight, Vinny Vin-Vin!"

'When are you ganna seduce her! I WANT SOME ACTION ALREADY!' Chaos whined.

"…………You have a cute butt." Vincent muttered after she jumped in the bed and wrapped the covers about her tightly. Chaos whooped with joy inside Vincent's mind. She turned and looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Did you say somethin'?" She asked. He cleared his throat.

"I said, thank you. For fixing my forehead." Vincent lied. Chaos cursed his host. She smiled and nodded. When she covered herself again, she eyed him from under the covers. He still sat on the bed.

"Uh, aren't you ganna sleep?" She asked drowsily.

"No. I don't sleep much." Vincent said to her.

"Outside your box, that is? Well you should. It's good for you. At least give it a try, will ya? Please? Else yer ganna keep me up all night knowing you're up." She said, slowly falling into unconsciousness. He looked over at her softly. "Please?"

"…………" With a sigh, he finally gave in and lay down upon the bed. He could hear her giggle faintly.

"Good night, Vinny." Yuffie yawned, closing her eyes.

"………… Good night, Yuffie." Vincent said softly.

Author's Notes: Ah, Reno is hot! And so is Vincent! As well as Sephiroth, Tseng, Rufus, and……… and yeah! SO! I have nothing vital to say other than: A hundred midgets licking Thousand Island dressing off a man. Go ahead, stab me with sharp objects! I do not care! For I am a……… PUMA! Or something, yeah. I really have nothing to say. Oh. Please review! I WANT REVIEWS DAMMIT! MY VERY EXISTANCE DEPENDS UPON IT! SERIOUSLY! I'll die without them, do you want that? I won't be able to write and finish this dribble. So, yea, review. Please. I'll give you my sister, half of my leprechaun slave's soul, and dance for you ppl. (Doin' a chibi dance!) PLEASE REVIEW!


	7. Vincent NAKED!

Chapter……… Uh, Wait a moment……… Okay, Chapter 7

Yuffie tossed and turned, trying to find the most comfortable position to sleep in. Unfortunately, she woke herself up to find she had a dry throat. Yawning, she threw off the covers about to get out of bed, her eyes still closed from the grogginess. A scent in the air caught her attention, the scent of roses, compelling her to open them. She gasped at what she saw. The bed was completely surrounded by candles that gave off a warm red glow, though beyond them was nothing but darkness, like an empty void. There was no other bed or even the room. Upon her bed were hundreds of crimson rose petals, matching the crimson sheets. The sheets she fell asleep in were white.

"Oooooooookay……… Anyone out there? I just want a glass of water………" Yuffie called out into the void. A red spotlight shined down, showing a flight of stairs that led up to a table with a glass of water on it. "That works, thanks."

She got out of the bed, stepped over the candles and ran up the stairs to grab the glass of water. She downed it quickly, setting the empty glass down. "Ahhh! That hit the spot!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." A cool voice said behind her, causing her to scream. She whipped around to find Vincent towering over her in one of those count Dracula outfits, complete with the cape. He looked quite seductive in it with his hair pulled back and his chin exposed. He looked down at her with glistening rubies for eyes. The modest smile he gave her made her legs feel like jello. He grasped her chin and she almost melted when he purred to her. "You look delicious."

"Uh, thanks? Uh, while your at it, can I get a sandwich too…?" She wasn't sure what made him say that, but when he bent down and started kissing her neck, she didn't give a crap. He raised his cape up behind her, enveloping her within it. She was in darkness again, feeling him stroke her back and wet her neck with kisses. Before long, he stopped. She looked up at Vincent, shocked to find him looking down with a wild look of lust in his once tranquil eyes. He grinned, revealing long Vampiric fangs. "Ohhhhh, shit. Vinny? Let's just stop right now and we can both go back to bed like nothing happened."

"Don't worry, I only want a _little_ taste." He snarled hungrily, giving him the impression of being a ravenous wolf. She tried to turn to run but it was too late. He brought his head down with his fangs bared, breaking the skin upon her neck. She went numb, and soon was unconscious.

"AHHHHHHH! SWEET LEVIATHAN!" Yuffie shot up in her bed. She looked around. A sigh of relief escaped her when she found she was back in the inn. It was dark and a figure lay under the covers of the other bed, Vincent. Vincent didn't stir. She got up and walked over to Vincent's bed, pulling the covers back to talk to him. Leather wings extended into the air as their owner pushed itself up from the bed. Yuffie screamed again when she realized whom it was the wings belonged to, falling back onto her own bed. Chaos stood above her, sneering.

"I didn't get to have any fun with you the other night! However, you won't escape from me this time!" His coarse voice sniggered, sounding like rocks being scraped together. She screamed again when Chaos raised his claw.

"AHHHHHHHHH! SWEET LEVIATHAN! HOLY SHIT!" Yuffie screamed, falling out of bed covered in a cold sweat. Vincent jerked out of bed, stooping to his knees next to a shaking Yuffie. He grabbed her to try and calm her as she hyperventilated. She shrieked again when he held her. "Vampire! VAMPIRE! Leggo! You're ganna eat me! I don't taste good! Go get a pizza instead!"

"Yuffie! Calm down. It was only a nightmare. It's okay." Vincent soothingly told her. He was holding her tightly and after ten minutes or so she was relaxed. "Are you okay? Yuffie?……… Yuffie?"

Looking down he found her fast asleep under his arms, clutching his cloak with her small hands much like a child clutches its mother. He brushed a few strands of hair back from her face. She had grown quite attractive from the tomboyish girl she was two years prior. In sleep, she was even more alluring. Well, until she began to drool on him. He didn't mind though. Sitting there next to the bed, with Yuffie peacefully in his arms, he too fell asleep.

The next morning, Yuffie awoke to find herself the arms of an unconscious Vincent. She blushed, remembering her nightmares from last night about him. Oddly enough, she felt comfort with his arms around her. His collar was down and much to her surprise her head was tucked under his chin. She also noted the drool splotch on his cloak.

'Gee wow, Yuffie, great job! First you vomit on him, now you drool on him, what's next? Are you ganna sweat on him too?' Yuffie thought to herself. The word sweat encouraged really dirty images of her and Vincent into her mind. She mentally exploded when she comprehended how dirty her mind was. She threw herself backwards, bashing her head against the nightstand. "OH GAWD! EWWW! EWWWWWWWWWWW! WHAT THE &$( IS &($&ING WRONG WITH ME! ($&#($!" (She's been around Cid much too long when she was in Avalanche.)

Vincent jerked awake because of her cursing, finding the ninja repetitively beat her head against the nightstand. At first, he couldn't help but stare at her with an eyebrow raised. Then he noticed her face was bleeding, compelling him to grab her and end her masochistic beating. She started to freak out like she did last night, again, forcing him to hold her in a bear hug until she calmed down once more.

"……… I can see something is vexing you. Care to relinquish your troubles?" Vincent asked, holding the now limp girl in his arms. Again.

"You're damn right somethin's vexing me! GAH! Let go evil vampire!" Yuffie screamed, resuming her squirming. He silently held on tightly as if she was nothing more than a doll.

"Do you promise to not go berserk again?" He asked deadpanned. Limp once more in his arms, she nodded. In his mind, he noted how nice it was to hold her so closely, almost regretting to have to let go. "Good."

She darted away as soon as he let go, climbing back unto her bed, turning to watch him like a hawk. For some reason, though, she wanted to stay in his arms. His embrace filled her with butterflies. He stared up at her innocuously, confused as to why she was acting the way she was. She glared back down at him, puffing out her cheeks in anger. 'Butterflies, butterflies, BUTTERFLIES! It's those damn butterflies! BUTTERFLIES OF EVIL! He's done somethin I bet, maybe did some kinda vampire charm spell thingy on me or something. I dunno, but whatever it is, I don't know how much longer I can resist it……… He's freakin' me out and yet I keep looking at him weirdly!'

"What troubles you?" Vincent tried asking again, hoping she would settle down. His eyes locked softly with hers, beseeching an answer. Yuffie couldn't even look at his beautiful face. A pillow was soon blocking the view of each other when she smashed it into her face.

"NOTHING! I'm fine! Really! I am!" Yuffie lied, yelling into her pillow. 'AS IF! I've never been this confused before.'

She finally dared to pull the pillow down, yelping in surprise when Vincent's face was right on the other side of the pillow, his face blank as usual. She brought the pillow down onto his head repeatedly. "VINNY! QUIT DOING THAT!"

"Quit doing what?" Vincent asked in an ingenuous voice, smirking under the cowl of his cape before getting up to go into the bathroom. He was already taking off his cape the moment he passed through the doorway. Yuffie's face went red knowing he was going for the shower. Before the door closed, a half-naked Vincent popped his head out with the smallest grin of impishness. "………… I'm taking a shower now to better clean myself of your vomit. I trust you won't peek."

A pillow was hurled at the door, though it closed just in time. A blushing Yuffie got off the bed to dress, growling and muttering curses the entire time.

Within the hot steamy room where the bath is located, which is now presently occupied……… Oh, how naughty, hehehe………

Vincent was in the shower contemplating the strange reactions towards Yuffie that he's had of late. Chaos moaned within his skull. 'Man, like you gotta think about it anymore. Just get on with it or find someone else to satisfy you. Your soooooo selfish Vince, I live in this body too.'

"Silence…" was his only command. As if his tormentor were suddenly considerate enough to oblige.

'Tch, your one to talk of consideration. For instance, did you ever consider the threat of that redhead down stairs……. We should like, kill him or something! Yeah, that should be fun! That guys always on something, his blood is sure to intoxicate you, heheh…' Chaos continued to babble on as Vincent began to fill the tub for a bath.

MEANWHILE…outside of the shower……

Red thirteen appears!

His pretty red tail was swaying back and forth in a very flame-like manner. Twas bewitching Yuffie who was still spacing from that freaky emotion altering dream she had. She was disturbed…. Like…. The mongoose…. Or something….like that.

"Eh Yuffie?" Red attempted to wake her from the daydream…

"Eh? Kitty…….. Red kitty of flame…………. "

Her response was unnerving, so he decided to poke her with his paw. But what would be said of the next person finding her in this state. Surely I lost my train of thought and I have no idea why I'm writing this……. OKAY! What happened was that Yuffie, due to her troubled thoughts of Vincent, decided to take a stroll around Cosmo Canyon and ran into the guardian of Cosmo Canyon, Nanaki. He poked her again on the arm, this time with his tail, allowing the flames to lick her arm.

"YEOWCH! Ahhh! Oh, hey Red XIII. Hey, why the heck did you burn me!" Yuffie asked, rubbing the hot spot on her forearm. He shook his mane, as if to rid himself of fleas.

"You seemed to be in a stupor. What are you doing in Cosmo Canyon?" Nanaki asked of his former Avalanche companion. She smiled and twirled about in front of him.

"To visit you, silly fire kitty! We arrived last night but thought it would be better to say hi today!" Yuffie exclaimed, forgetting everything that was troubling her.

"We?" The large cat asked, tilting his head. "The others are here too?"

"Oh, no. It's just me and Vinny." Yuffie said with a nervous laugh.

"Vincent and yourself? Traveling together? Why?" The cat's fury eyebrows raised in surprise. (He has eyebrows, right? I don't know myself.)

"Uh, ya know……… Just exploring every inch of this planet for materia, from the butt-crack of dawn until we pass out at night! He's my official materia hunting partner. Yeah!" Yuffie scratched her head, giggling after dubbing her Vampiric companion with such a title. Red XIII just looked at her. She smiled back as cutely as possible. "Soooo, how's your gramps doin'?"

"His health is good." Nanaki replied, sitting upon the dirt. He then grinned a toothy grin at the ninja, exposing his fangs and all. "Since you and Vincent have visited, please come see him. He will be happy to see old faces."

"Oh, coolness, sure! Um, I'll go get Vince and we'll meet you at his house." Yuffie suggested. With a nod, Nanaki turned and trotted to their assigned meeting place. The ninja spun around and skipped back towards the inn absently. When she got to the room, she could still hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom, surprising her a bit. 'Wow, Vinny has been in there for almost an hour! I wonder why?'

The young warrior woman prudently walked up to the bathroom door. She rapped upon it with her fist. "Hey, Vin-Vin! You okay in there? You've been in there for an awfully long time……… Vinny? Are you there?" Horror crept into her mind, 'what if he drowned in his bath!' She panicked and threw the door open, forgetting completely that people bathe naked. "Don't worry Vince! I know CPR—"

Vincent, who had been sleeping in the wonderful steamy waters, had shot out of the tub when Yuffie flew the door open. He stood naked now before a blank faced Yuffie. Hurriedly, he wrapped the nearest towel around his hips to cover his naughty areas with a slight blush across his face. (Author notes: Drool…..) He was wondering many things all at once. Such things were: What the hell! Why is she frozen like that and not leaving! What the hell was she thinking barging in like that! Did I have breakfast yet?

"Yuffie. Could you please leave? I need to get dressed……… Yuffie?" Vincent thoroughly eyed her. She wasn't moving. He decided to poke her. He eyes squinted terribly and she began to foam at the mouth like a rabid animal, falling over onto the floor. Vincent raised an eyebrow at the now frothing girl at his feet. He sighed and gently nudged her across the floor and out of the bathroom with his foot before closing the door.

An hour later………

Vincent was completely dressed and casually walking through the canyon with a dazed Yuffie, who kept running into things and tripping over rocks. After the eighth time she had fallen to the ground on her face, Vincent sighed and picked her up and carried her by his side with his arm around her stomach. She passed out again and began to dream as Vincent carried her.

Within her dreams………… Viewer's digression advisedness or whatever.

Yuffie pranced within a sunny forest. She was quite happy. Because, instead of leaves on the trees, there grew fat chunks of materia everywhere. She gathered large amounts of materia and hugged them close. However, her happiness soon began to fade when her materia started tochange into strange objects. She dropped her once beautiful materia when she realized what they now were. Vincent's face replaced the sun and instead of materia, there were PENISES! OMG! And so Yuffie ran about screaming and holding her hands to her eyes to shield them from the chaotic vulgar site. The Vincent sun laughed evilly as the naughty parts grew legs and soon chased after her.

Back to reality…………

Yuffie woke up screaming about penises and that made Vincent's face turn as red as his cape. They arrived at Bugenhagen's house at the top of the tallest plateau in the Cosmos Canyon. Yuffie seemed to be oblivious about everything while a very red Vincent held her to his side and knocked on the door to the observatory. Red XIII answered the door, though how he managed to open it with his paws still remains a mystery. He greeted them and Bugenhagen hovered into the room.

"Ho Ho Ho! What have we here? Two of your friends I see, Nanaki. Ho, ho, that rhymes!" The jolly old man laughed, stroking his beard. Vincent dropped Yuffie on the ground by his feet, her face blank. Yuffie shot up with enthusiasm, scaring Vincent shitless.

"HEY THERE OLD MAN!" Yuffie squealed, jumping in the air with a smile. "Hey! Do you have that neat room still?"

"Grandfather, Yuffie and Vincent had come by to visit for a bit." Nanaki said quietly.

"Ho Ho Ho! I was right in the middle of recording some interesting data about a star that is being born. The observatory room is open if you wish to see it so far." The elderly wise-man told them. "I have a bit of work to finish up upstairs, Nanaki, why not get them something to drink while they wait?"

"Okay grandfather." The giant red cat sauntered into the kitchen as Vincent and Yuffie wandered into the observatory room. The stepped onto the elevator and Vincent pulled the lever sending them upwards towards the holographic images of the universe.

Yuffie gasped at what she saw, almost drooling after a few seconds. Amongst the millions of holographic stars were the large materia that she and the rest of Avalanche had gathered during the crisis with Sephiroth and Meteor. She leapt up to grab for one but was stopped by a red blur. She looked about herself to find Vincent hold her wrists and shaking his head.

"No, Yuffie, we aren't going to go through this again." Vincent said monotonously.

"But Vinny! They soooooo PRETTY! Can I just have a few?" Yuffie whined. He shook his head again while still holding her hands. "Come oooooooon. How about just that small one? Eh? No one will even notice! Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase!"

He looked down at her in his grasp as she continued to beg. Vincent began to take in every detail of her face as she looked up at him with her stormy purplish eyes. He couldn't help but to stare at her lips with soft eyes. Chaos began to chirp in the back of his mind again.

'Wow, she's really good at begging. Once you give her a little of the "MmHmm" she'll be begging like this when you're done with her.' Chaos laughed. Vincent blushed at this insidious comment and it didn't go unnoticed. Yuffie looked at him with an eyebrow raised and head cocked to the side. He was still holding her wrists, though neither of them seemed to notice.

"Vincent? What's wrong?" Yuffie asked noticing that Vincent was leaning ever so slightly closer each second, as was she. Her mind was racing with her heart.'He's so dreamy looking with the stars reflecting off his eyes and stuff. Omg! What am I doing?' She tried to resist, saying something about the first thing she caught sight of. "W-wow, these stars really are beautiful, aren't they? Heh."

"Yes……… They are very beautiful." He said almost too quiet to be heard. She blushed, as they were now only inches from each other's face. 'Oh, crap, my distraction plan didn't work. Ooooooooooooh, my gawd! Am I going to kiss him?'

'She's so young, but so beautiful at the same time.' Vincent told himself. Chaos was screaming at him to hurry up and do her. Their lips barely brushed together when there was a flash of light behind Yuffie's head. Vincent covered his eyes and fell backwards, hissing. "IT BURNS!"

Yuffie stood there, staring down at him. Red XIII and Bugenhagen came into the observatory with drinks. Bugenhagen chuckled and floated up to meet them. Red XIII leapt up easily and Vincent finally stood up, rubbing his eyes.

"Its seems the star has finally been born! Ho ho ho, it is a rare occasion when one sees a star being born. It enters life just like a human baby enters life. So pure both are, like that of true love." The old man gave Yuffie and Vincent a wee wink causing both to flush a bit. The rest of the time was a bit awkward for everyone. Yuffie got bored after ten minutes yet still chatted happily and Vincent wasn't really one for chatting. They talked and reminisced about the recent things that have happened in the world, which wasn't much. They finished up their small get-together and finally Vincent and Yuffie said farewell to their friends. Vincent and Yuffie made their way out of Cosmos Canyon after restocking on supplies needed. The two companions shared an awkward silence for the first hour as they remembered what Bugenhagen said in the observatory. It was definitely going to be a long trip to their next destination. It was Yuffie who finally broke the silence.

"Um, Vinny? Where exactly are we going again?"

* * *

Author's notes: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OMG! I saw Advent Children! HOLY F NUTS! IT WAS SOOOOO AWESOME! Sephiroth and Vincent were HOT! I'm not ganna ruin too much for you guys in this ficcy so I'll keep the AC details hush hush. How did I watch it, you ask? Well, I'm a pirate! And that's all I'm saying. I also got this Moogle plushy and its soooo cute! AND I WENT TO SEE NINE INCH NAILS LIVE IN CONCERT! They're my favorite band! I have been so happy that I decided to overlook my piles of homework and update, condemning me to the life of a fast food worker and later, the local drunk! Please review, I'd appreciate ten more and I'll try to keep updating as soon as possible. YAY! WAFFLES! 


	8. A walk in the woods

Author's note thingy: Yo! I haven't updated in a while but I'm getting back into it, don't worry. I do that a lot, write a bunch of stuff for a while and then stop for about half a year and then go back to it. Bad habit. Usually it's when I'm caught up in school shit. Like now, I'm in another of my school's play, this time I'm lead female. Yay! Many lines I must memorize! My brain explodeys! But I will continue updating the few things I'm back into for a bit. Oh, even though I had it pirated, I ended up buying Advent Children off ebay because they just had to push back the American release date again to freaking April 4 and because my comp isn't working (I'm on the school's comp right now). It's in Japanese with subtitles and it's hot. You can get it for like 11 bucks on ebay. Plus I said screw the American one when I found out Lance Bass was going to be Sephiroth's voice actor, again. Apparently, SquareEnix thinks Sephiroth's gay, well HE'S NOT! Unless if it's with Vincent, and if you find that intriguing in any way, you might wanna read my Turkish Delights fic. (I know, lame title. Bite me. And just so you know, it's rated Mature for naughty scenes.) But enough about all this crap, let's get to the fic that all of you have been threatening my life to update! Yay!

BIG NOTICE THINGY! I have made changes in the plot and changed last chapter. If you're too lazy to go back and look I'll just tell you here and now. This will be taking place about a month before Advent Children. Hopefully, most of you are evil enough to pirate the movie or buy it from ebay, and then you won't want to kill me for some of what I'll be writing later on.

* * *

Chapter Eight!

The two unlikely companions were trudging slowly up to the top of a plateau near Cosmos Canyon. The sun was at its highest and was relentlessly beating down on them both and they were several hours from Cosmos Canyon. Luckily, they made off the rocky landscape of the canyon and onto a vegetated area. Yuffie brightened when she noticed a forest not too far ahead of them. Vincent, though he said nothing, was also glad that he could get some shade from the cruel sun above pretty soon. They quickened their pace to shorten the time they had to be from shade.

When they first stepped in the forest, the shade of the ancient trees caressed them in a loving coolness. The dense leaves let little sun filter to the mossy ground below. Vincent and Yuffie took the time to sit and rest under a tall moss covered tree on an oblong looking stump that was curiously large. Yuffie pulled out a pop from her bag and started to down it. Vincent closed his eyes and just sat next to here with his legs crossed and arms folded over his chest. Yuffie saw his meditating-like position and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, Vin-Vin. You want some?" Yuffie asked, holding out her half drank pop under his nose. She smiled when he opened his eyes to frown at her. The nicknames she used on him never ceased.

"Have you ever used my real name?" Vincent asked irritably as he waved his hand to decline her offer.

Yuffie pulled her arm back and took another swig of her pop and let out a refreshed sigh. She then tilted her head and tapped her chin with her finger in thought before replying. "Hmmmm, nope, don't think so!" She took another drink and then turned to face him fully with a seductive look on her face and spoke with as sexy of a voice she could muster. "Why? Do you want me to whisper your name to you softly so you may remember it when you cry yourself to sleep because I'm not in your arms? Hmmm, is that it……… Vincent?"

Vincent stared at her, a blush already spreading across his face. His red cowl-like collar covered most of the color, yet Yuffie caught a glimpse and raised her eyebrows. Vincent was about to turn away until he felt a strong yank on his collar, pulling him back. He found himself staring into her purplish grey eyes, making his throat dry from all the hot anticipation of her luscious looking lips upon his. No, not really, well sorta, but he was more worried that she'd make a huge deal about it. She smiled wickedly, letting go of his cape.

"Really now Vinny, you don't have to be so shy about it. I mean, who could truly resist my beautiful looks and charms?" Yuffie pulled away from him to take the time to think of such an idea. She tapped her fingers on her chin thoughtfully before turning back to him with bright eyes full of playfulness. "Vincent. Vincent…. Vincent, Vincent, Vincent, VINCENT, Vincent. There, you happy? Vincent?"

Vincent had a smirk on his no longer abashed face and went back to his meditating-like state. Yuffie grinned and went for something from her bag to eat. She found a box of candies, chocolates to be precise. After munching on a few pieces of chocolate, she glanced over to her raven haired companion. An eyebrow rose when an idea popped into her mind. Ever so carefully, with her awesome leet ninja skillz, she quietly scooted as close to him as possible, careful not to make him open his eyes. She had to do this quickly before she disturbed him. With a few quick swipes of her hand, she took several pieces of her delicious chocolate and pushed a few in his mouth, taking no more than a second. She swiftly sat back to observe his reaction. His eyes shot open and glared directly at her grinning ecstatic face. His cheeks were puffed out like a squirrel from all the chocolate she shoved in his mouth. When his glare didn't falter and he wasn't chewing, Yuffie's brows furrowed and she frowned at him.

"Come on, Vince, chew! It's good!" Yuffie told him, popping some chocolate in her own mouth to demonstrate. Slowly, Vincent forced his jaw to comply, wrenching it up and down to chew. He was still glaring at her, until he swallowed, closing his eyes as if in pain. Yuffie smiled again, never taking his eyes from his face. She was practically bouncing up and down in excitement. "Well? What did you think?"

He opened his eyes and stared at her.

She stared back.

He blinked.

She frowned.

Chaos says argggh again.

Yuffie throws her hand up in the air because she so impatient. "WELL!"

"……………It's okay." Vincent replied, looking away. Yuffie scooted up real close to him.

"Only okay? You want more?" She put her right hand on his shoulder and rests her chin on it while offering him more chocolate with her left hand. Vincent turned his head to look at her, startling both of them by how close there faces were to each other.

Their faces were no more than an inch from one another. She could feel his warm breath upon her lips. He could hear her heart quicken in beat. They locked eyes, both blushing sheepishly. She pulled her face off her hand and back a little. She was about to remove her hand as well, yet he placed his human hand upon her hand, keeping it there. Vincent didn't want to stop hearing her heart beat next to him. Slowly, he dragged her hand softly across his chest and placed it behind his neck, pulling her even closer than before. In fact, he basically pulled her across his lap and was now bending down to meet with her with his claw arm wrapping gently around her petite waist. Their gazes softened and eventually they closed their eyes altogether in anticipation of each other. Vincent felt a shiver go down his spine when her breath warmed his own lips. Chaos was playing Nine Inch Nails' song 'Closer' in Vincent's brain in hopes of getting Vincent to get down and dirty with her, but Vincent ignored it, and was planning on enjoying the innocence and softness of their first kiss. Yuffie's mind was doing summersaults and jumping around from thought to thought as the eagerness grew for his kiss. Neither of them expected what would happen next as their lips barely brushed together. The oblong shaped stump beneath them began to shake slightly before pulling itself up around them. Yuffie shrieked and Vincent was confused as hell as they were squished against each other and the sticky walls surrounding them, making them unable to move at all. They were stuck in a giant Venus Fly Trap.

"Oh, crap, I guess this must be the Ancient's Forest." Yuffie muffled from within the walls of the giant plant. "Totally forgot about this place…"

After a few minutes, the plant began to make a weird noise that sounded like an upset stomach before spitting out its unwanted meal. Both of them picked themselves off the ground and looked at the plant, then at each other. They blushed in unison when they remembered what they almost did, looking away to hide their sheepishness.

"Ew… We're covered in nasty gooey stuff…" Yuffie muttered to herself, trying to take their minds off of the almost kiss.

'Offer to lick it off of her slowly.' Chaos suggested from the back of Vincent's mind, still determined to get some action out of this. Vincent furrowed his eyes.

'No. I'm not sticking my tongue in an unknown substance. That's just not right.' Vincent told his demonic companion.

'Then melt that chocolate and lick THAT off of her and her cute sexy—' Chaos began but was cut off by his host.

'No! Now shut up.' Vincent told him.

'Asshole.' Chaos muttered.

"As soon as we find a water source, then we may be able to cleanse ourselves." Vincent told the young ninja who was now staring off into space.

Inside the mind of Yuffie Kisaragi………

"Oh Vinny, please… scrub my back for me!" Yuffie said seductively while glancing over her shoulders to see him. They were in a pond and he swam over to her and she giggled, covering her front for they were both nude.

"My pleasure, Yuffie." Vincent said with a sly smile and a wink. He begins washing it gently with his hands before he slips them around to her front. He laughs and then speaks in his usual monotone voice. "Oh, my. I seemed to have slipped. How could I be so careless? Please, Yuffie, punish me. Give me a spanking."

Yuffie squeals and swims away. BUT THEN RENO JUMPS IN AND TACKLES VINCENT! The water turns into whip cream and Yuffie watches the two hot guys wrestle in the sweet mess of it all. And finally the author's head explodes due to all the retardedness. What the hell am I writing? Back to the story.

Yuffie then snaps back to reality when she is poked by Vincent's claw. She blushes madly and turns and points randomly. She spoke so fast that Vincent barely understood her. "OMG! ITHINKIHEARWATERLETSGO!" And off she goes running, leaving Vincent to stare off after her. He sighs and shakes his head before jogging after her to catch up. Several hours later, there was no water to be seen. Several more hours later, there was STILL no water but luckily they found the exit to the forest and were on their way down the steep cliff-like mountain side. By sunset, they had reached the bottom of the mountain and into a regular forest. Luckily for them, a twisting stream was not far from them They were beginning to set up camp.

"Ahh, Vinny, I think I'm ganna go take a dip! HAHAHAHA! DIP LIKE IN WHIP CREAM!—um, never mind…….." Yuffie shut up and stared at him. He was staring back, confused as hell. Again, she talked at him really fast. "OKAYGOODBYEDON"TPEAKORI"LLKILLYOULATER!"

"………" Vincent said nothing, except he cried out after he burned himself. He was in charge of building the fire, after all. He then began to suck on his burnt hand like a small child would.

ELSE WHERE!

"Reno, I'm hungry." Elena whined as she flew the helicopter out of Gongaga. They had not found what they were looking for after a long day of searching.

"Elena, I don't care." Reno replied, pissed because of his hangover as he looked through his porno magazine in the back of the copter next to Tseng.

"Throw me up something, idiot!" Elena turned around and screeched at him, forcing Rude, who was in the co-pilot's seat to grab her controls as well. The copter jerked roughly, throwing Reno forward. He spewed cuss words that would have made Cid Highwind proud.

"BITCH! Get it yourself!" He screamed back with a look of fire in his eyes.

"Listen asshole, I've been driving for four hours earlier, and then looking for Jenova's f-ing body parts or any sign of Sephiroth, and now I'm driving again! GIVE ME SOMETHIN' TO EAT!" Elena demanded. She was rewarded with a smack in the face by a granola bar. She growled at the red head and ate it promptly. She relieved Rude of juggling the controls and went back to her own, making Rude sigh in relief that they didn't crash.

"Ya could have had your boyfriend get it for you, bitch!" Reno growled at her, going back to his naughty magazine. The helicopter jerked again when a large sob sounded out through the copter.

"OH TSENG! HOW COULD YOU HAVE DIED? I LOVE YOU!" Elena cried, throwing her sobbing face into her hands, making Rude grab her controls again. Reno looked up and raised an eyebrow at Tseng, who was looking rather confused as well.

"Um, Elena? I'm, um, I'm not dead. I mean, I am right here you know." Tseng told her as she continued sobbing.

"OH GAWD, I CAN STILL HEAR HIS VOICE! WHYYYYYYYY!" Elena continued, shaking her fists towards the sky. "YOU PROMISED TO TAKE ME TO DINNER AFTER THAT MISSION TOO!"

"Gawddamnit, Elena, every f-ing time…. Look! I'm not dead! We went out to dinner, remember! Geez, I'm not f-ing dead! I'm in Advent Children, damnit! Now get back to your controls, woman!" Tseng yelled at her. She sniffed and went back to the controls.

"We need to report back to boss as soon as possible. He's waiting for us at the Golden Saucer." Tseng said, calmer than before. "There, you guys can take a break for a few days."

"YAY!" Everyone cheered.

Back to where Vincent was…..

It had been an hour and Vincent had gone downstream and caught several fish for them to eat, which were now impaled upon sticks and roasting. He was now waiting patiently by the fire for Yuffie to return. He looked around for a few minutes as his impatience began to ebb in his mind. No sign of the bouncy insane eighteen year old. The ebony haired man was sitting meditative-style when he began to smell something foul. It, unfortunately, turned out to be him. He was still covered in that sticky goo from that plant, as well as much dirt after climbing down that mountainside. A rustle in the bushes startled him from his thoughts. He placed his hand on his gun at his side out of habit. However, it only turned out to be Yuffie, her clothes wet yet cleaner like her. She was shivering with a weary smile on her face. Hurriedly, she sat as close to the fire as possible.

"Hey! What's up?" Yuffie asked in good spirits now that she was getting warm again.

"I caught some fish for us to eat, they should be done soon." Vincent told her, getting up and throwing more sticks into the fire. Yuffie nodded and smiled wider.

"Maybe we should get refills on water from that stream. You were getting pretty low." Vincent grabbed the flasks and turned towards the forest. He was also planning to rinse himself off a bit before returning. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Okee Dokee!" Yuffie piped up. She rubbed her hands together to get the feeling back into her fingers. After the fish looked good enough, she took them away from the fire and proceeded to eat hers. It had been about ten minutes and she was already wondering when Vincent would be back. While she finished the last of her fish, she felt as though she was missing something. It finally hit her that she had forgot her arm bracer. She jolted up in anger at herself before turning to run off after it. 'How the hell could I forget that?'

Elsewhere, at the stream, where the ravenous pork-cows roam! No, I'm just kidding.

Even if Vincent no longer considered himself human, the ebony haired man could definitely feel the cold temperature of the stream getting to him. He continued to scrub his naked body with soap he brought along while wondering how that girl could have withstood such a freezing bath. Before he jumped in, he had found the ninja's bracer at the side of the stream where he deposited his clothes. He would bring it back to her when he finished. He sat in the stream, refusing to let his teeth chatter from the cold, contemplating on where they were going to be going off to. Chaos started up again in his mind.

'Did you know…. That the most perverted and horniest thing in the world is a 17 or 18 year old virgin girl? True fact.' Chaos grinned in his mind. (If anyone asks me if that is true with me, I plead the fifth!) Vincent rolled his eyes.

"And what might you be getting at…" Vincent asked, already knowing the answer.

'Hehehe, maybe you should relieve our little ninja princess of such feelings. I'm sure should would be more than willing to after your ALMOST passionate kiss earlier today.' Chaos said with humor in his voice.

"I'm not going to seduce her. I don't know what I was thinking earlier but I bet it has everything to do with you, you sick demon." Vincent chided at his inner companion.

'Oh, I think not, I wasn't doing anything. It was all you because YOU are the sick sick moo cow!' Chaos told him. They both heard rustling in the bushes next to where Vincent had stashed his clothing. Chaos knew immediately who had interrupted their little chat and remarked on it. 'Well, speak of Satan! Here she is now. Pretend like you didn't hear her! DO IT!'

'Fine, if it will shut you up! She'll probably get disgusted and leave immediately when she sees me, I bet you.' Vincent reverted to speak with his thoughts. Chaos cackled inside his mind.

'Well, I'll wager she doesn't, but instead will be entranced with your exposed body.'

'You're dirty, you do realize that.' Vincent told the demon and closed his eyes to listen for any movements Yuffie might make.

'So are you, so get to cleaning yourself very slowly. And try not to look to cold. Stand up so your up half of your body is exposed! Then move your hands all over your chest and arms!'

'Quit it, you're making me nervous!' Vincent told him, highly disturbed with the demon and even more disturbed at the fact that he was actually doing all that the demon suggested.

Meanwhile, in the bushes….

'Aha! Found you, you bastard of a bracer, you!' Yuffie grinned triumphantly. She then noticed some other things very close to her found item. 'Omg, are those Vincent's! Then that must mean….'

She poked her head up so that she may see over the bush at the stream. Her eyes widened considerably. There, she saw Vincent waist deem in the same stream where she had bathed. He was slowly washing his muscular chest and the rest of his torso, his face serene and eyes closed as if in pleasure of the water dripping off of his body, from what she could see. Her mind was exploding slowly again and sweat began to bead at her eyebrow. Yuffie had the strong urge to go jump in and then make her little day dream earlier real and began to consider it.

'Except it would be freezing water and not whip cream. And Reno wasn't around. Damn. But this was just as good.' Yuffie thought. She twitched and slapped herself. She was now tugging at the roots of her hair and gritting her teeth. 'NOOOOOOOOO! I will not be tempted by this evil vampire man of sexiness! I can't believe I'm thinking this crap! And I almost kissed him earlier! For shame, Yuffie! FOR SHAME!' However, this didn't stop her from watching.

Doddododododooooooooo….

'Why isn't she gone yet!' Vincent exclaimed in his mind. Chaos couldn't stop roaring with laughter. 'I want to get out! IT'S FREEZING! I CAN'T FEEL MY LIMBS!'

'Then get out. She'll surely run off if you do.' Chaos told him with snickers following his words. 'But first, dunk under the water and then come back up, flinging your hair behind you!'

Like Chaos told him, Vincent submerged his entire body under the cold water for a few seconds and came back up all sexy-like, throwing back his long ebony hair behind him and running his fingers through it slowly. Inside his mind, he cursed the demon and himself for doing something so retarded.

'Oh, don't be that way…. She totally dug it! Now get out, before you die of hypothermia! I don't want to be stuck in a f-ing corpse!' Chaos said.

Didodidodidodidoooooooooo, wtf?

Yuffie's eyes were so wide that she thought her eyeballs would fall out because they would be too loose. The flipping the hair made her want to totally jump on him. While she began to reprimand herself mentally, to her horror, she saw Vincent coming towards the shore with the water level going lower and lower down his body as he climbed up the shore. She clamped her hands over her eyes right as the, um…. You know…., became visible. She froze as she heard him step over to his clothes, wondering if at all he knew she was there and if he was crazy if he didn't see her.

"Yuffie," Vincent said, now half dressed. Yuffie jumped almost three feet, screaming like she was on helium, and finally flinging herself back to the ground flat on her face. Vincent raised an eyebrow at her and went over to peel her off the dirt. He was looking at her passed out form to see if she was hurt because she hit the ground rather hard. After a few seconds, she stirred, finally looking to see Vincent's face inches from hers. Her eyes stared at the raven haired man in sheer freakishness and fear. Vincent's eyebrow rose a bit higher as if to question why she was looking at him that way. He was about to ask her until blood shot out of Yuffie's nose and into his face from all the embarrassment. After dousing a now stunned Vincent with her raging nosebleed of embarrassing doom, she began to foam at the mouth while in an unconscious stupor. Vincent got the blood out of his eyes and gathered the seemingly brain dead teen in his arms. "I was just going to say don't forget your arm bracer."

And with that, they headed back to their campsite.

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Author's note…. Thingy… yeah: OMG I FINALLY FINISHED THIS CHAPTER! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! DOIN' A LITTLE DANCE! (didododdddddddoooooo dododododoooooooooo dododidididododiodidoidodi doddoooooooododoooooooooo didododiododidooo dodidododiiiido—Okay I'm done.) Anyways. You must be like "We hate you author! You always never update! (is that a contradiction?) We hate what you do update! It sux! Go burn or something!" Well, I want you all to know, I get that a lot. And frankly, I don't care. Because right now, my life sucks, OKAY! Parent's want to kick me out when I turn 18, I am overly stressed on homework, getting into college after I graduate highschool, finding a place to stay until I get a dorm room, scholarships and crap like that, OMG I AM SO STRESSED! AHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Head explodes!) Anyways, I'd like some reviews, LIKE 15 to know that you all want me to update this. I'm going to go now…. I'm hungry. Byes. 


	9. Goldsaucer adventures!

Chapter IX

Author note: LAWL! OMFG I HAVE GRADUATED AND AM NOW OUT OF THE HOUSE ON MY OWN! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!! TAKE THAT MOM AND DAD!!! (flips the birdy) Ahhh…. Well, I really REALLY apologize for being an utter flamingo ass, I should have updated more than I have… Sadness I know. For there was the most foulest beast of all haunting me these last year… the foul wretched demon known only as… dun dun DUNNNN!!! THE WRITER'S BLOCK OF DOOOOOOOOOOOM! However, I managed as of late to kick it in the face, fling crap at it, and show it the door in order to find some inspiration! Well, I'm just ganna apologize again, I know many of you threatened my life and future children if I didn't start up this fic again and I think it may have worked. SOooooo, congrats. Or… um… WHATEVERI'MWRITINGNOW,LOL!!!

CHAPTER IX!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!11!!!!11!!!1!!!!!!11!1!1!!ONEONEELEVEN!!1!

Onwards, the two unlikely companions marched, halfway through the canyon that leads to North Corel. Yuffie had mostly been quiet or madly blushing for the past day and a half. Vincent was beginning to worry that he had seriously made a mistake on stunning her with his seductive bathing techniques. Trying to think of a way to break the peaceful yet very awkward silence, Vincent ponders of what he could possibly say, ignoring the demon residing inside his brain.

'Hey! Hey! Hey, listen to me! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, my tallest! HEYYYYYYYY!!!' Chaos was rolling around in the back of his mind screaming like a child pumped full of sugar and crack (ah… my childhood memories…), disrupting his host's thoughts immensely.

"……" Vincent attempted to ignore the demon in his head, however his patience for the demon to shut up was wearing thin.

'HEEEeEeEEEEeEEEEeeeeEEEEEEeeEeEeeeEeEeEeEeeEeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeEeeEeEEYYyyyYyyyY!' Chaos continued. Vincent gave a aggravated growl, grabbing his gun from its holster and smacking himself in the head several times. Yuffie heard cracking noises and immediately turned around to see him beating himself in the face. Vincent, indifferently stopped and replaced his gun in its holster, going back to walking towards their destination without a single word. Yuffie's eye twitched, disturbed by her companions brash action.

"Vincent, what the hell are you—" Yuffie began until BOOM! Both her and Vincent were knocked over by a gust of wind from an explosion, not too far from them.

"AAAAAAAHHH!!! THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US!!!" Yuffie screamed as she was flung into the dirt with a confused yet silent Vincent piling on top of her. From far away, a black stream of liquid spewed forth from the ground.

Vincent stood up, brushing himself off and glancing down at the still screaming woman at his feet.

"OOOOOoooooooooooooooow!!! THE PAIN! LET IT END ALREADY, DEAR GAWD!" Yuffie cried out, writhing in the dirt still.

Vincent felt compelled to just stare down at the sight, entertained by her dramatic over-exageration and unawareness to what was really going on. With a sigh, he decided against it, reaching down to pull her up and attempt to calm her.

"NOOOOO!" She shook her head. Vincent shook her until she pulled out of her ecstatic state. "Oh, hi Vinny! What the hell was that?!"

Vincent peered into the distance, nonchalantly.

"It seems there was an explosion near Coral Town… I believe that's oil I see coming up from the ground. I also see people dancing around it foolishly. Oh, and I see Barret." Vincent replied. Chaos started creating images in Vincent's mind of what Yuffie would look like naked in the oil, pissing off (and turning on) Vincent again. He turned to see that Yuffie had already taken off running towards the town. With a sharp grunt, Vincent followed. They met up with the large black man with the robotic arm and he hadn't changed at all.

"Yo, you bloodsucka'! Nice to see you an' Yuffie again in the hood, yo!" Barret said as he patted Vincent on the back with his mechanical arm, knocking him over because of the uncontrollable force of his pats. Vincent pulled himself off the ground, sucking the air that had been knocked out of him back into his lungs before replying hoarsely.

"It's nice to see you too again, Barret." Vincent said.

Yuffie and Vincent took an hour to chat with Barret, catching up on things since their days in Avalanche. Yuffie was mostly the one talking but Vincent was listening intently as well. Coral Town was beginning to prosper since they had first discovered signs of oil in region around the town. Barret also told them that he talked to Cloud, or Spiky as Barret called him, and said that he and Tifa were moving to the small city near Midgar ruins and Kalm called Midgul Edge. He said that Cloud and Tifa wanted to start an orphanage for children who lost their families to Meteor and were suffering from the new epidemic that had began to pop up around the planet called Geostigma. They were going to postpone their marriage for a bit longer. Yuffie and Barret began to wrap up their conversation while Barret was packing things up onto a helicopter.

"I'm taking lil' Marlene over to Tifa and Spiky's place for a while. I wanna get a survey done and set up a few land drills for the oil before letting her run around the place any more." Barret said as Marlene came running out of Barret's house with a small moogle back pack on. Yuffie noticed her hair was in a braid with a pink bow tying it up like how Aeris wore her hair. After all, Marlene really looked up to Aeris and missed considerably her since her unfortunate and untimely death. Marlene ran up and was hauled into the air by her father playfully, and placed on his shoulder like he did two years back, even though Marlene grew a lot since then and sat awkwardly on his shoulders. Yuffie smiled to her sweetly as Marlene looked over at her daddy's guests. She immediately remembered Yuffie, who used to play with her in Kalm for a while as her daddy and his friends helped clean up after Meteor.

"Hey Marlene, long time no see! How are things?" Yuffie asked cheerily.

"I'm good! I just had my birthday three days ago! I'm seven now." Marlene giggled happily, hugging her father's head.

"Wow, you're getting to be a big girl, happy birthday!" Yuffie said with a large grin. Marlene cracked a smile at her before noticing Vincent. She'd only seen him a few times with her daddy's friends before and never talked to him or seen him so close. She eyed him curiously and Yuffie noticed. She waved her arm in front of Vincent and cleared her throat. "You haven't really met him before but this is Vincent, he's a friend of mine and your dad's."

"Hello, my name's Marlene." She said shyly. He looked up at her blankly.

"It's nice to meet you Marlene." Vincent said impassively.

"Don't worry, he's always like that. He doesn't smile much." Yuffie whispered up to Marlene with a grin. She nodded understandingly.

"So he's like Cloud?" Marlene asked. Yuffie nodded back.

"Yup. All melodramatic and emo." Yuffie replied. The two girls giggled as Vincent grunted and folded his arms in annoyance.

"Alright baby girl, it's time for you to take a trip to see Uncle Spiky and Aunt Tifa! Say bye to Yuffie and Vincent." Barret told her. They all said their goodbyes and Barret got into the helicopter with Marlene and they took off towards Edge City. Yuffie and Vincent continued onward to the airlift to Goldsaucer.

"Yuffie, what is the significance of us going to this amusement park?" Vincent inquired as they sat in the airlift together. Well, more like just Vincent sitting and Yuffie was ecstatically bouncing around inside, going from window to window to get a better view of the large aerial golden theme park.

"We're ganna just have a few days of fun, then we'll get serious with our materia hunting so lighten up, Vinny. Oh my Gawd! I haven't been here in ages! Well, not since we were in Avalanche together, Vin-Vins! I had so much fun last time, I can't wait to go to the arcade! No, no, no, I'm ganna hit the chocobo races first! Or how about the battle arena? Oh man, I could definitely take on all those monster freaks in there with one hand tied behind my back! I'd give em a little of this! And this! And a bit of that!" Yuffie punched the air viciously with glee. "I'd take first prize for sure with my awesome ninja skills!"

Vincent sighed heavily. He didn't know if he was going to like this at all.

When they arrived, Yuffie dragged him up to the haunted hotel and they got a room to share so they could drop off all their belongings before heading out for fun. On the way down from the room, Yuffie caught a glimpse of a gang dressed in familiar blue suites through the crack of the door to the reserved banquet hall downstairs. Yuffie didn't give it any thought and continued towards the front door. Vincent, however, stopped and looked towards the door of the banquet hall.

"Huh?" Yuffie skipped back to where Vincent had stopped and looked to see what caught his eye. She noticed that it was the Turks standing at attention in the room, facing someone in a wheelchair with a white blanket over themselves. Yuffie mimicked Vincent's eavesdropping by tilting her head to allow herself to listen in on the conversation better. (This is the part of the story where I try and add a real plot to it to tie it into Advent Children, so it will be boring and very stupid. If you want, you may skip ahead, but you won't get a birthday party this year because I will tell your mommy.)

"Sir, there's been a reporting of suspicious silver haired characters lurking around in the ancient forest near the Cetran Forgotten Capital. There was a reported malfunction within the number 34 reactor in the mountain region near there about two years ago. The stats for it had shown only power failure but we took a closer look and there had been several reports of Professor Hojo making several unaccompanied trips there. I have a bad feeling that perhaps we might be looking at another incident where Sephiroth might be involved." The professionally dressed Turk with long silky black locks announced.

"I bet you a raise in our salary that you're just paranoid," the least well groomed member of the group with flaming red hair stated with a chuckle. "What do you think about this crap, Rude?"

"………"

"Reno, shut your trap! Oh Tseng, you're soooo professional!" Dreamy eyed, Elena praised her senior partner. She straightened up suddenly, pounding her fist into her palm with determination. "I feel the same way! Perhaps we should go investigate?"

"Elena's right, we should go to the location of these sightings and see if there truly any silver haired characters in the Forgotten Capital." Tseng agreed. Elena let out a squeal of delight, feeling accomplished for giving an appropriate suggestion.

"Hold off on that…….. I'd rather you four check out the source of the problem from two years ago. Perhaps see if there is any activity in the area where we found the true Sephiroth." The cloaked figure replied. The Turks looked at each other with concern.

"You don't really mean that enormous hole in the ground do you?" Reno asked skeptically. (Here's about where you want to tune back in. But if you skipped that part above, you really won't get a birthday cake, or a clown, or presents! But you will contract syphilis. Yay for STDs!)

"North Crater? But why?" Elena inquired.

"These characters could possibly be stray clones of Sephiroth's, loitering about. In any case, Jenova's reunion was centered at the bottom of Northern Crater; it's likely that it's their destination. I want you all to go down and see if there are any possible remains of Jenova and contain them. Report back at the Healin Lodge near Kalm in four days with any findings. After that, depending on what we find, we'll investigate the Forgotten City." The cloaked figure announced. "Any questions?"

"Yeah, why the hell are you wearing that blanket over you again? I mean we know you have Geostigma, but do you feel that insecure about it? We all think you're pretty, boss, even with a life threatening disease." Reno stated lightheartedly, only to get a grunt from his superior. He was rewarded with a slap to the back of his head from Elena. "OW! Did you see that? Assault! You should demote her!"

"Fat chance." Elena stuck her tongue out at him. Tseng coughed, compelling Elena to act her age again.

"Alright kids, playtime until 7AM tomorrow sharp. And Reno, don't you dare be late again!" Tseng said. Reno clucked his tongue at Tseng as everyone began to disperse from the meeting. Vincent took the queue to leave, leaving a confused Yuffie behind as he turned on his heels and headed for the door. He almost immediately figured out that it was president Rufus underneath that cloak and was curious how he survived the explosion in Midgar two years earlier. Yuffie was right about to turn around and follow when she heard Reno from behind.

"Well looky here Rude, what a surprise, my little Wuttian angel has made an appearance!" Reno bent over with a smug look, matching Yuffie's eye level and only inches from her face. "Long time no see, beautiful."

"We saw each other a couple days ago, you goofball." Yuffie replied with a nervous laugh and a blush across her face.

"Days? It felt like we've been apart for years. My heart ached to see your flawless face again, babe." Reno cooed, making Yuffie's blush ten shades deeper. Rude rolled his eyes behind his dark shades and walked past his red headed colleague towards the hotel's front door.

"Bar." Rude said in monotone, indicating to Reno where he could be found. Reno nodded and turned his attention back to the ninja that timidly faced him.

"So you want to go hit a few of the rides with me?" Reno asked with a seductive grin plastered on his beautiful boyish face.

"Uh, um………" Was all she could stammer. Yuffie felt weighted down to the ground and didn't know what to say, she'd never been hit on before really. Her Yuffie senses were tingling when she detected a seething aura behind her near the door. Vincent had daggers in his eyes at Reno and she didn't have to look back to see that he was about to morph into Chaos and rip the Turk to shreds. Luckily he didn't, and instead he came up behind her and tapped on her shoulder.

"Our dinner reservation is waiting, Yuffie." He said coldly. He shot a glare at the red head and turned back, finally exiting the building. Reno snorted at him on his way out.

"Yeah, I almost forgot! Sorry, maybe some other time! Bye Reno!" Yuffie chuckled uneasily and skipped out the building in pursuit of her raven haired companion. Reno wrinkled his nose, folding his arms in disappointment.

"Hey! Wait up!" Yuffie hollered at Vincent as she ran to catch up. "Where are you off to?"

"Where else, dinner." He replied unemotionally in a matter-of-factly sort of way. Yuffie looked stunned before she turned away from him. He could have sworn he saw the same blush that Reno brought about return.

"Wait, you really DID get reservations for us to go to dinner!" Yuffie asked in amazement.

"……………." Was his reply. Inside his mind he answered, 'No. I was trying to get Reno to piss off. But I guess she could use a real meal now that we are back into civilization.'

'Yea, and later you guys can do some R&R in the bedroom.' Chaos suggested in his head. 'Giggidy giggidy! Alright!'

She looked to find him walking again, causing her to stumble over herself to follow him. She began to inner monologue with herself again. 'Wow, maybe he wanted to go on a date with me? This is TOO FREAKING WEIRD MAN! WTF!? I MEAN DOUBLE U TEE EF? First Reno hitting on me like I'm some super model chick and now Vincent taking me out to dinner? And I could have sworn I sensed jealousy from that vampire guy. OH MY GAWD! THAT'S IT! HE WANT TO SUCK MY BLOOD! THAT'S WHAT HE MEANS BY DINNER! OH SHIT, WHY DIDN'T I SEE IT EARLIER!' She ended up walking right into his back, falling backwards onto her butt. Looking up she saw him descend upon her with his icy blood red eyes locked onto hers. In panic, she squealed in horror and curled into the fetal position to shield herself from his vampiric powers. "PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY LIFE JUICE!! IT TASTES OF SOOT AND POO!"

"Yuffie, we are here." Vincent told her with a raised eyebrow and an extended hand. She looked up to find vampire fangs inching toward her neck and gingerly, she grasped his hand and let him pull her up. They proceeded in and were seated, WITHOUT a reservation, lawl. Yuffie decided to order a burger and fries with a chocolate milkshake, even though it was one of the more fancy restaurants in Goldsaucer, and Vincent just took a glass of red wine. Yuffie viciously began to plow into her food once it hit the table. Vincent watched with amazement as bits and chunks of food flew into the air due to the fury of it being consumed. Within minutes, it was all gone and Yuffie was ordering cake. While waiting for her delicious desert to arrive, she eyed him.

"Vinny, why don't you ever take off that claw thingy? It's kinda dumb looking." Yuffie said nonchalantly. That struck a small nerve on him and he let out a sound of distaste towards her uncouth inquiry. She only slanted her head, waiting for a response. She continued, embarrassed by her next selection of words. "I mean, I saw you, uh, er, you know…….. BATHE with it. Common, take it off."

"Does it embarrass you to be with a freak?" He asked, try to guilt her into shutting up.

"No! I just wanna see! Take it off!" She pried.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"YES!"

"No."

"TAKE IT OFF YOU STUBBORN MULE!" Yuffie pounded on the table, almost knocking over his wine. Her demand caused quite a number of people to glance over and stare, expecting stripping to follow. Hahah, dinner and a show…….. I wanna watch a hot guy strip while I eat! MmmmMmmmmmm good!

"………… I can't." He replied.

"But in other fan-fictions you can, you just have a disfigured arm." She said in confusion.

"Well they are foolish writers. If I could take this off I wouldn't wear the ugly thing." He said slightly irately, considering ripping off the arm and smacking her upside the head with it. Her slab of cake arrived.

"This is CAKE TOWN!" She declared, shoving the dessert into her face. Her selection in food only reminded him even more that she was just a teenager. They finished up and he paid the bill. She convinced him to accompany her for a few rides. She easily got sick on the rollercoaster, almost gagging all over Vincent, even though it was the small kiddy coaster. She went to the arcade and coaxed the ex-Turk into trying a few games, which he failed miserably with, with the exception of a game with the crane machines and the snowboarding VR. For some odd reason, he got the new high score and beat Cloud's snowboarding record. He also won her a stuffed moogle in one of the crane games. They walked around for a bit just enjoying the sights around the park. They ended up wandering into the Enchanted Square and confetti burst out from the walls and rained down onto them.

"…………" Vincent's eyes widened and he knew. All the fun he had been having with Yuffie died when they had entered through those doors. He knew the horror that approached him as a fat balding man in a Goldsaucer uniform approached the two with a large grin on his oily face. He felt like pulling out his death penalty and blowing his brains across the walls that showered confetti.

"Congratulations! You are our hundredth couple for tonight! You will take the leads in tonight's play!" The man informed them.

"Wha?" Yuffie sputtered. Vincent was reaching for his gun.

"Oh now it's not hard. Just play it however you want to and the rest of the cast will cover up for you." The man shoved them both towards the back area of the stage and into the dressing room.

DUnnnnNNnNANnANNANANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The curtain opened up and the narration began.

"Long, long ago……… An evil shadow appeared over the peaceful kingdom of Galdia. Princess Rosa was just kidnapped by the Evil Dragon King, Valvados. What will become of her? Just then, the legendary hero, Alfred, appears!"

"Hey! What's the big idea!" Yuffie is pushed out and tumbles onto the center of the stage. People applaud in the audience. She gets up and brushes herself off and looks up to see where the voice is coming from. A man dressed as a knight danced out onto the stage and stood elegantly next to her. She turned to him, livid. "Hey, I think you got it mixed up! I'm a girl!"

"Oh….. You must be the legendary hero……… Alfred!" He said his line loudly then turned to her and whispered. "Well it's ok, just play along. It's your line."

"How the hell could you guys mistake me for a guy!" She demanded, ignoring his prompting. He continued nervously.

"Uh……… You must be the legendary hero Alfred, I know in my soul. Please… please save Princess Rosa! Now……. please talk……. to the king!" He drew out his sentences dramatically and sang them as if it were an opera while he bowed and stepped to the back of the stage. A large fat man, who Yuffie recognized as the guy that forced her and Vincent to participate in the play, was dressed as a king and pranced awkwardly onto the stage. She marched over to him with the death glare. He spoke the same way as the knight.

"Oh……… legendary hero, Alfred! You have come to save my beloved Rosa! On the peak of dangerous mountain…... Dwells the Evil Dragon King, Valvados….. Who kidnapped Princess Rosa!" The king proclaimed. Yuffie cracked her knuckles and tapped her foot furiously.

"I'm ganna kick your face in, lard ass!" She growled.

"But you can't beat the Evil Dragon King now! Talk to one who can help you!" The King continued. On queue, a woman dressed as an old wizard frolicked onto the stage and stood next to the knight. Yuffie looked at both the actors and snorted, making eye contact with the wizard.

"Hey Gandolf! How should I go about kicking this King's ass?" Yuffie demanded

"What? You can't fight the King, you must find a way to fight Valvados!" The knight protested.

"You shut your pie hole, tin can!" Yuffie snapped, and he did. A poorly designed and made dragon costume was reeled in bye wires from the left of the stage, and he was holding Vincent.

"GWAHHAHAHAHH! I am the Evil Dragon King, Valvados! I have not harmed your princess! I have been expecting…. You!" The dragon roared, the man inside trying his hardest to be as menacing as possible. Yuffie did a double take when she saw a very, very, and I mean VERY, pissed off Vincent. They had put him in a dress. How, she could never guess.

"………………." Vincent silently fumed.

"You guys put him in a fing DRESS?!?!?!?" Yuffie could barely comprehend this. She turned to the fat king, wound up, and let her fist fly, sending the fat king off backstage.

"GAAAAAAAAAH! You dare ignore me!" The dragon howled. Vincent turned around and shot him in the leg with his Quicksilver so that it doesn't blow off the entire thing. He fell to the floor crying out in agony, grasping at the bleeding leg while all the other actors ran off stage screaming. Vincent then tore off the dress (he was wearing his normal clothes underneath, so don't go all fappy on me girls…. And some boys…. . ) and walked off stage, Yuffie trailing behind with her stuffed moogle in hand.

"Oh gawd! THE AGONY! HE SHOT MY LEG! Is there a white mage in the theatre!" The man cried out on the floor, rocking back and forth while cradling his wounded leg. Just then, a young man with pointed ears and a green tunic jumped down from the room and stabbed the dragon suit in the head piece with his broad sword, inches away from the actual actor's head. The man inside the suit screamed before fainting. "JESUS CHRIST! YOU ALMOST GOT MY EYE!"

"Alright so I killed Valvados….. Where the hell is my freaking fire medallion?" The man in green demanded. A bluish fairy floated about his blonde head angrily.

"I said Volvagia you douche! Not Volvados! This isn't the fire temple or even Hyrule!" The fairy screamed at him. They walked off stage screaming at each other. The audience sat in utter confusion and terror after what they had witnessed.

"……….. And they lived happily, uh, ever after?" The narrator finished, just as confused as the rest of the crowd. For several minutes there was absolute silence. Someone in the back began to clap wildly, followed by a few other uncertain claps.

WOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

"Gawd, what a bunch of crap that was….. I can't believe they thought I was a boy and you were a girl! Jerks, I shoulda kicked their asses more!" Yuffie sneered as they walked about. Vincent, being glad they survived the ordeal, was happy to be out of there. They came to the Gondola ride that went around all of Goldsaucer. Yuffie let out a small giggle and grabbed Vincent's hand and walked over to the lady in charge of the ride. "There will be two of us!"

FWOOOSHHH!

At first they sat back, enjoy the small rest from walking around the entire park but then Yuffie began to jump around in her seat in attempt to see all the sights about the ride. Even Vincent glanced over to take in the grand light show and fireworks they lit off next to them.

"Woah! Geez! Look at those fireworks! Ha-ha! That one rocked! Wowwie zowwie, we have those kinds back at Wutai!" Yuffie commented randomly at the intervals where they launched the fireworks, her head sticking out the window to take it all in. Vincent went back to looking forward, his eyes drifting down and settling on the curves of Yuffie's small body without him even realizing it.

'You could bang her in the Gondola, that'd be something to brag about with the rest of your buddies, m'irite? Eh? Yeaaaaaaa? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa? I know you want to.' Chaos harassed Vincent within him.

"Vincent!" Yuffie exclaimed. He snapped his eyes upwards thinking that perhaps she had caught him ogling her, his heart nearly jumping out of his chest because of it too. However, she was still gazing out the window in awe of the newest fireworks being launched with an armada of balloons being released. "Look!"

Several minutes passed and the fireworks faded out again to just the glow of the park lights below in the midnight sky. Content with her fill of shiny and flashy things, Yuffie got up and spun around to sit with her back against the wall of the Gondola. She looked over at Vincent, admiring his entire dark seductive and flawless features, mainly his eyes. They were like rubies set in marble with black onyx cascading down in strands to frame the masterpiece. He was looking back at her with confusion in his eyes, and they made eye contact. She looked down, hugging her newly acquired stuffed moogle nervously. She felt so giddy and excited but so relaxed at the same time. 'I bet this is what they mean when they say giddy as a school girl. I can't take it anymore, he's winning with his vampire powers! He's just tooooooooo hot! Screw it!'

Hastily, Yuffie hopped up from her seat, still looking down at her moogle, and hopped over before Vincent and as quickly as she had shoved chocolates in his mouth, she gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek and threw herself back to where she was sitting. Vincent's eyes widened the moment he had felt her warm soft lips brush against his face. He studied her, still wearing the expression. If Yuffie weren't fire-truck red right then, she'd laugh at the break in his stone mask. She swallowed hard, playing with the pom-pom on the moogle.

"I just felt like doing that, heh. Th-thank you for dinner and coming with me to have fun, I-I'm happy you did." She squeaked, almost too quiet for even him to hear. He continued to stare at her. She began to fidget after the long silence. Finally she spoke again, shaking her head and poking at her moogle's right eye. "Ah, gawd! Sorry, I wasn't thinking clearly, I'm really tired and—-"

She was cut off when a hand brought her face upward and a pair of lips pressed down upon her own and a metallic arm snaked around her back. Her mind exploded and her body tingled all over. Vincent's kiss was firm but gentle. A sigh of bliss escaped from her lips when he pulled away seconds later.

"And I just felt like doing that." Vincent told her, sitting back on his side of the gondola. She was frozen in air again and by now Vincent was so used to her doing that that he only folded his arms and, amused by her youthful spirit, the corners of his mouth turned upwards ever so slightly. It did not escape Yuffie. She went from frozen to pointing straight at his face. She just kept gaping at him, unable to form any coherent speech for five minutes. Chaos, too, was speechless, if only for a moment. He then began suggesting all the naughty things Vincent could do to her, though Vincent paid no mind to his banter. The ride finally shuddered to a halt and they got off. As they walked back to the hotel, Yuffie absentmindedly grasped Vincent's hand. They both noticed each other's warmth simultaneously and blushed. That night was a really good night.

Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow

Well now, again, long time no chapter! But I'm back! And hopefully I'll STAY back! I hope you enjoyed this fluffy whip cream and butterfly filled chapter because this story may just get a little grittier later on down the road. I'm sooooooooo tired. I just wanted to finish this and get it up on fanfiction. Sorry for late replies or non at all with the comments, I've been a busy gal. I'll begin work on the next chapter tomorrow. Love ya all and thanks for reading! Oh my gawd, I've been dead for about a year on I forgot how to submit chapters! WHAT THE HELL!?? NOOOOOOO! If you are reading this though, I have finally figured it out. I'm a retard, lol.

PS, Go to my fanfiction profile and go down to the very bottom. Under the subliminal message, go to the links I put up, they're funny, I guarantee it.


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